MY FRIEND, MY GOD

I have/used to have a friend, he was/is a very amazing person, he’s cares, he listens, he seems to understand it all and stuff, but what I loved about him the most was his love for Jesus, I mean if anyone has Jesus he does in overflowing measures.
  The problem is gradually I started to love the Jesus in him more than Jesus himself, if I had any struggle I was bound to run to him, if I fell into any sin I’d call or text him, if I  had a headache he would be the only one I’d tell, I would only cry when I was with him. I didn’t realize what I had started to do until God in his infinite mercy pointed out this sin to me, call it idolizing, call it worship, I’m not sure what to call it but I had gradually replaced my need for God with the presence of this my friend, I had even stopped praying to God about my problems myself, I’ll just tell him and somehow I had told God in my mind, if I sat through any service and had to imaging Jesus all I did was picture my friend, my life stopped being guided by what will jesus do it became what would my friend do. In plain terms I depended on this friend for my daily dose of Joy and peace, or like I’d say he became my oxygen. If I didn’t talk to him in a day I’d end up sad and totally depressed, his voice was my spirit lifter I felt like a burden on him I mean he had his own life, but what could I do? I had made him my all. I didn’t even have one reasonable conversation with God the entire time except for my morning devotion and trust me I spent he devotion trying to read as my friend would do, he had gradually become my perfect example. By the time all these were happening where was my need for God? In fact one day I was writing his name I wroke his first name, followed by his second name and I wrote Jesus before his surname. He had become like Jesus to me.
When God pointed out this sin to me I was in the middle of another one of my struggles, now at this point I’d love to say it’s not wrong to have someone in your life to be with you to go to battles with you, to pray with you, to give you moral support through your struggle, the problem with mine was I had him go to battle for me, I had him pray for me and I piled my struggle on him. The only one who is permitted to battle for us is Jesus and the only one we’re permitted to pile all our troubles on his Jesus. But in my case I had done that to man and that was the problem. When I was shown what I had been doing I went back to God in the middle of my trouble and I asked for his mercy and unlike other times when I’ll look to my friend or wait for him to give me a word for my season I went to God and I wept I told him how sorry I was and I purposely took out time to stay off pouring my challenges on my friend but I made another mistake tho, I decided to deal with things myself and things quickly got worse until one evening I took out time to just let God have his way and place in my life and I made peace with my friend. Now I don’t even remember to run so much to my friend in my troubles I just pour it all on God and go about my regular activities without feeling like a burden to anyone because at na him say “pile all your troubles on me” and its exactly what I’m doing. Now I’m at peace knowing I have my all in God and a friend who could give me moral support if I ever need it.

WHAT DO YOU SAY?

Growing up with Yoruba people is one of the most tiring, frustrating, beautiful and teaching experiences, those women are divine and made by God himself, they’ll tell you to bring broom for them and when you bring it they’ll say  you’re rude (strange ryt?) lol you’ll hear comments like “so I asked you to bring broom and you can’t even say you’ll sweep and you’re even giving me the broom” well it would end at the talking if you have a nice mother, if you have a mean mother you’ll possibly receive a slap with the warning.lol and that’s how I learnt listening for implied meaning even before I was taught in English on reading for implied meaning.
Something happened when I was way younger an adult sent me to tell another adult that she was stupid loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool I’d never forget that day, I walked confidently to the other person and I’m like “aunty K, aunty T said to tell you you’re very stupid” (lobatan), I got a slap and she goes Busayo what did you say and stupidly I said it again gbam!!, and I’m like its aunty T that said to tell you that, and that’s when I learnt, its not what other people say its what you say yourself.
maybe your life is like:
My mom said I’d never be good enough
My dad thinks I’m worthless
My teachers think I’m useless
My doctors think I’d never be healthy
My last boyfriend said I’m the ugliest person ever
Maybe someone has said any of these things to you or  even worse, my word today is; its not about what people say or have said to you its about what you say to your self, after everyone has said what they like concerning you, what do you say about yourself, you’re a product of what you speak into your life. I had this impression that its what others speak into your life that matters but now I know better its what they say or because they say it, it’s because you accepted it, your destiny isn’t in the hands of any man, it’s in your mount and in the hands of God, a song I love says speak int the atmosphere. Speak it and be it.
  When people say negative things to or about you refuse it, reject it, when they say you’re ugly tell them you’re fearfully and wonderfully made, when they say you’re sick tell them the chastisement of your peace was laid on the king and by his stripes you have been healed so you can’t be sick. You can’t control what people say to and about but you can choose the effect it has over your life, you can either accept it or reject it. The year is ended I’ve heard people pass different comments about the year 2014 and say evil into 2015 both as individuals and over the country but that don’t matter what matters is, what do you say? Well for me I say I AM THE BEAUTIFIED OF THE KING and FOR MY COUNTRY I SPEAK PEACE, because it’s not what people say again it’s what I say. What do you say?
Love always
Busayo Kehinde

LESSONS FROM 2014 PART 5: PUT IT ON

I can’t wear this dress to church today its way too cool for this church sef” I said to myself on Sunday morning so I put the too pretty dress back at the bottom of my box where I kept dresses for special occasions, I got this dress almost a year ago and I’ve never gotten to wear it even once, there’s not been any occasion worthy of the dress, I’m waiting for the befitting occasion. Today I’m folding this same dress and putting at the bottom of a box just not my special box this time it’s the box for welfare materials, its just so sad I never even got to wear the dress and now I have to give it out ‘cos I recently put on a little weight and so the dress doesn’t fit anymore, its way too tight and not the sexy kind of tight, the suffocating kind of tight, if I ever wear that dress I’d look like I robbed my little niece or cousin of their dress.
     I and my friend were talking earlier and she told me about a dress she was given, she decided no occasion was good enough for the dress so she kept it at the bottom of her box and in the end the dress was stolen before the “worthy occasion” even ever came. Just like my dress I have at the bottom of my box a whole lot of us have talents and abilities God has given to us that we’ve so kept at the bottom of our boxes, some of us can sing for instance but we don’t want to join our church choir possibly because we still attend church with our parents and our churches are full of predominantly aged people, now we forget that old people die and the last time we see them at church might really be their last on earth how would you feel if you realized that the last hymn you sang in the choir was the song that turned their hearts towards Christ and they died after that service, a lot of us can write but we wouldn’t because it’s not the popular thing no one reads anything longer than a tweet these days but that’s just a lie someone once told me how he read something I wrote about my life when he was at the verge of suicide and he refused to take his life again, some of us can act but we are comfortable keeping that talent under our box, we’re good in the arts, we’re good in dancing I recently stumbled on this EDIFY dance group it’s an amazing form of evangelism, even paper work, decoration, making dresses and plenty other stuff, sadly the lives of others may be tied to the manifestation of our bottom box talent “the earth waits in earnest expectation for the manifestation of the sons of God” I know some of us could be doing stuff and it feels like it’s the only talent we’ve got I believe there’s more we have within us and I’m not sure of how long I have on earth but I have to effectively utilize all that HE has put in me so when I go to be with him I’ll show him the fruits of all he’s put in me. Enough of our bathroom singing, behind closed door dancing, inside our journal writing, acting alone in front of the mirror, pick up your bottom box clothes(talents) and put them on, put them on to the saloon, put them on to church on Sunday, put them on to visit a friend, put them on when you’re going to buy ice cream, put them on when you just want to take a stroll, put them on to sleep :D, sing everywhere you go, dance like your life depended upon it, because everywhere you are or go to is worthy and deserves to have a feel of that special thing in you.

Love always
Busayo Kehinde
                                                                 
                                                                

LESSONS FROM 2014 PART 4: YOU ARE LOVED

We’ve all failed at various points in our lives, we’ve stumbled, we’ve messed up big time, and sometimes when we think of all the times we’ve failed we struggle with believing that God still loves us. For some of us we haven’t “failed” God, but life hasn’t been real fair to us, we’ve suffered losses, maybe health fail or something even worse and you’re left to wonder if God really loves you or if he even cares a little about you. To you God is saying;
           “I have loved you with the love that never ends, though the mountains must be
            Shaken and the hills removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken.
             How could I give up on you? My heart is turned over within me”
God doesn’t distance himself from our pain, he is with us right in it and cares very much, he feels every hurt, pain and sickness, he’s head over heels in love with  you, like he says in Romans NOTHING is the only thing that can separate us from his divine love, we just simply need to let go of whatever it is that is keeping us from trusting in God and in his love. God says again;
                  “I have made myself one spirit with you, I nourish, I cherish you,
                            I give myself up for you; I lay down my life for you”
When in all your hurt and all your pain you find a way to connect with God, you realize how much he loves you and has never been far from you, and a day will come when he’ll personally wipe away all your tears and fails, and with him you’ll feel his enormous love, Gods love is enormous because its perfect, and perfect love is what would lead us through all that comes in life.
Love Always
Busayo Kehinde

LESSONS FROM 2014 PART 3: POUR YOUR PAIN OUT

Hi ya’ll top of the day to you, hope all has been totally well with you, a big fat, super and juicy thank you to everyone of you who have been with me on this learning Journey since Tuesday, I hope you have been blessed and taught of the king, your questions and confusions regarding anything you’ve read on here are totally welcome and you could also send a private mail busayokehinde81@gmail.com and your comments totally tickle me and I’m blessed when people are blessed by reading stuff here.
Today I’d be sharing this little something I’ve learnt about pain this year, no matter how hard we try to fight it pain would come in your life death of someone we love, a break up, somehow I feel like pain is even an important part of our lives, it’s a part of the things that grow us, in fact here is what I wrote in my journal “sickness and pain aren’t good on their own but personally it has made me to shine for God and understand that he is with me even in my mess” I wrote this too “sometimes life would turn us upside down first so we can learn to live right side up” pain isn’t easy oh! In fact pain is totally painful but then I learnt something lately; when people with pain connect with God they realize that there has never been a time he stopped loving them and a day is coming when he’ll personally wipe away every tear and we’ll never hurt again, and when they are with God and feel is enormous love the past pain would seem as nothing, but until then how do you live through and survive the pain and hurt? 
 Simple! Pour you pain into something your own pain grows dim when you find for yourself something to pour your hurt, your loneliness, and your longing into, it took me a while to understand this principle, I was sulking about how hurtful and sad life had been for me and one day I heard God tell me loud and clear; he said to me “pour you pain into something other than self”, that was when I realized that there could  be other people hurting like me, so I started writing my story, I had to understand that there were people who needed my story in order for their lives to be fine and I started sharing. No lies sometimes I don’t even feel the pain of all I still am going through in my life, I get so caught up in praying for others that I forget that I even have a headache during the time I’m praying, pouring myself into what God has given me has made me a channel and we all know nothing stays for so long in a channel, when you become a channel even pain cant last long in you. I urge everyone who’s got one pain or the other jn their lives to pour all they feel into something positive, sing, pray for someone, write and spread hope and the truth of God’s love to others,  share a book, volunteer in church, volunteer in the hospital and see how dim your  pain gets.
Love always
Busayo Kehinde

LESSONS FROM 2014 PART 2: TAKING THE GOOD AND THE BAD

Hi everyone top of the day to you, hope your day is great and eventful and you are enjoying God in large measures I trust him continually keep you, oh Christmas is soon I’d share  my plans for Christmas with you all, but in the meantime I hope you remember that Christmas is more about giving than receiving, I don’t know what you’ve done with previous Christmastime but this time around make it compulsory that you put a smile on the face of someone who can’t repay you, make someone say thank you to you, enough about Christmas, today I’ll be continuing what I started earlier this week, I promised that December would be about me sharing the lessons from the past 11 months of this year with you all, if you missed the first post on that you could check out the blog for  that and even many more.
Today I’ll be writing on another valuable lesson I learnt this year; there is no such thing as monotony in real life, there is  nothing that’s bound to be same  forever, life is basically about change, after change and after change simply put life is constantly changing, nothing stays the same forever, Good times would come so would the bad too, but we have home that the tough times won’t last forever however it’s sad  that the good too won’t last forever, it’s the world we live in, its life and let’s face it there’s nothing we  can do.
   But we can’t choose to be sad because of the bad times we experience, we need to learn to take the good along  with the bad and just hold on to his word that says all things work together to your good because you love God, it’s the only way you could be fine, like Tyler Perry puts its “Be aware of the darkness but focus  on the light” you’re not expected to fake ignorance as regards your situation however you should be  aware of the bad and focus on the goodness of God, that is the attitude that takes us through hard times, your victory lies in your attitude before anything else, and it’s the attitude of gratitude that takes us through the hard times. Basically all I want you all to know is to learn to take all life brings your way maintaining a right attitude, it’s to take the good along with the bad with the right attitude a positive attitude.
Love always
Busayo Kehinde 

LESSONS FROM 2014

Hi people welcome to the month of December, its been a long year and its been totally eventful so for the month of December I’ll be writing majorly on things I’ve learnt in the course of the year. Things I’ve learnt during my bible study, things I learnt from life and even some personal experiences. I hope these lessons teach you so much love you very much.
First thing I’ll love to share on is on Christianity and the very core of Christian life and listening I sure hope you are blessed by reading this. In the past year I’ve written about my struggle with my poor health but each time I do the write up I keep saying I’m blessed with illness, not because I like being ill but because I’ve learnt through it. Every time I’ve been down It’s like that’s when God speaks to me, it’s like when I’m facing storms in my life it’s when God speaks. But I learnt something new this year, I hear God when I’m down or facing a storm because it’s the only time I’m attentive it’s not like God likes me being ill but sometimes I need the storm to hear God speak, the core of our Christian life isn’t in praying, isn’t in talking, it’s in listening to the voice of God, but a number of us can never listen while we are on our feet, we are up and about going around the world on evangelism, we are always speaking about the God we don’t even have time to listen to. Sometimes we can’t learn all God has to teach us while we’re on our feet, while we can move around and while all is fine with us, it’s why sometimes we are laid flat on our back, we are abandoned by people, and things go wrong in our lives, it’s so we can be silent and listen to the voice of God.
I’m not saying God brings illness our way, the devil brings evil our way but God takes advantage of our storms to grow us, to speak to us, and to reveal himself to us, but truth is simple you don’t even have to wait till you are laid flat on your back before you listen, you can start practicing listening, be quiet take time pout with God and listen to him speak, don’t wait until you’re forced to listen.
I hope you’ve learnt from this, I pray you’re blessed and taught from each of my lessons. Let me know your thoughts and questions on this.
Love you always
Busayo Kehinde

 

HOW PREPARED??

  I USED to  like it when fine guys notice me(I hope you saw the USED capitalised) so I always remembered to keep up appearance, I mean even if I’m just going across the street from my house I could dress like a magazine model (except for heels), one annoying afternoon I had to go get stuff for mum from the store close to the house it was afternoon, fine guys only come there at night, so I didn’t think any fine guy would be out, so out I went in my elder sister’s top and bathroom slippers, braids packed with no particular direction and no makeup on, on entering the store the first thing I saw was a fine dude, I mean I wanted to enter the ground. Every other time I entered that store in the afternoon the only fine dudes I ever saw there were boys who followed their mum to buy stuff (yeah I mean the mummies boys) and today of all days this fine one was let loose, and NO he didn’t even spare me a glance, dude just did what he came there to do and left (I cant even begin to explain the pain I felt)
   Every other day I entered the store I was prepared, and the day I wasn’t prepared, the fine decided to appear,  how prepared are we for each day, we need to develop the mentality that each day we see could be THAT DAY; the day you’ve prayed for, the day God z gonna return, the Day he’s gon propose( if ur nails aint done that day *phew* pele), the day you’ve dreamed of all your life, the day you’re gon get the Job you’ve prayed for,  the day you’ll die, the day your miracle would happen. But the question is on that day are we going to be prepared or are we going to get tired of being prepared and go out looking scruffy, aside physical preparation we need to be ready in other ways, don’t you just find it amusing when celebrities flop on red carpet (lmao nothing tripps me like a flopping celeb, i’m just sit there sipping tea and having a filled day) I mean they could be all dressed and glammed up and then they’ll ask them  a question about the event they are attending and BOOM!! Silence(lol)  I personally think a woman i know( I didn’t say the name oh!) wasn’t prepared and that’s why “chai!!! There is God oh,  I donate my family on behalf of 2million, my dear fellow widows e.t.c” is happening, I think if she actually prepared to be great she’d have trained herself intellectually and improved her grammar. How prepared are you? Prepare yourself each day and be ready cos it might just be THE DAY.
Love always
Busayo

LITTLE PEOPLE

God has taught me so much about little people in the past few months, but lately I learnt something new and I hurt for the little people. When I think about little people I think of the poor in the society, the less privileged and the oppressed. But I got a little understanding about little people by reading about a man named Josh; Josh was the only son of his mother, his mother expected him to earn a degree, possibly become a professor or even become a footballer, but things became bad when josh dropped out of college to become a tow truck driver, josh’s mom was so ashamed she wouldn’t talk about him in public, things got worse when he had an accident, no one knew how the accident happened but he was incapacitated and unemployed for a while spent all he had on treatment and started having to borrow from family, it was real crazy for Josh, not long after however he died, only after his death did his mom realize who he truly was, she got to know how much he cared and showed love to all who lived around him, how he cared for a couple with down’s syndrome, how he bought groceries daily for a poor widow, but most of all how he had the accident; he was trying to rescue two girls out of harm’s way when he was hit by a truck.
    We all have people like Josh in our lives, people who by our own measure are failures, maybe for you a failure is one who doesn’t love God, or someone who isn’t educated, maybe by your own standards a failure is one who is unhealthy, or maybe you think a failure is someone who cant do a few things. Today I’d love everyone to reach out to those we see as little, Jesus was about the little, the least, the lonely, the oppressed, and he is our perfect example. I have a friend who by my standards may be seen as little but being with him has broken me overtime, I’ve seen the redeemed side of him and I know he might seem little in the meantime but there is a giant who loves and cares inside him, all he needs is a little love, someone to be proud of him even as terrible as his life may seem. Today I want everyone reading this to reach out to those little people you know, maybe a friend, a family member who seems like the black sheep, a distant relative, somebody, anybody and let the love of God in your heart embrace them, hold them and let them know they are good enough and certainly worth loving.  Because we all need a little love.
Love always
Busayo Kehinde

THE CURSE THAT NEVER STOPS BLESSING

I have a real struggle with my health while some people may see it as a curse I see my health as the curse that never stops blessing, my several years on earth I’ve never been more conscious of life and death until I became ill, my health condition reminds me that life is so short and that I’m not so sure how  long and when my time will be up, I know way too many people who have died of asthma attack, and the thought of that makes me want to live right, makes me want to serve God with whatever time I have.
Being sick may be a curse to everyone else but for me its been a blessing, being sick I’ve learnt to make the most of each day the King’s given me, being sick I’ve learnt to keep giving, being sick I’ve learnt to love totally because time may be up anytime soon, I’ve learnt to totally reach out to others from my experiences, my past helps me to understand people, my experiences have taught me to love everyone even the least people, my hurts have taught me to forgive totally, my pains have taught me to care for others, pain has broadened my understanding in life, my pain has helped me to shine for Jesus and give hope to others, my health fail, my hurts, my pains, my abuse, have helped me to remember, helped me remember what is important, remember how to trust, how to care, how to depend. But most of all everything pain and hurt that seemed like a curse upon my life have been blessings because they’ve brought me to a point of total dependence on God. If having Jesus at the centre of my life isn’t a blessing I wonder what is? Now although my condition and situations are not in themselves blessings, in fact I think they in themselves are curses only, they are the kind of curses that just never stop blessing you. What else could be better.
  God says he works things together for my good I guess this is one of those times I see all the good in even my pain.
                                                                                                                                                  Love always
                                                                                                                                               Busayo Kehinde

SURVIVAL IN THE LAND OF TOO MUCH

A friend once said she had to change bed space from sleeping next to me because I was asthmatic and her aunt said she could contact Asthma by sleeping next to me, thinking about it now it’s pretty funny huh but the day I was told it was in no way funny. Nigeria is such a country where there is so much and sometimes you want to get mad at people, everyone denies anything evil is happening until things get out of hand, there is so much discrimination in everything, the rich, the poor and average. Nigeria  is particularly unfair to people with disorders, I recently decided to consult with a therapist with regards to a few symptoms of ADD I was experiencing, you should have seen the “you don dey kolo? Look I got when I asked people if anyone knew any psychologist we are very good with trying to use religion to overlook real things, a child with tourettes syndrome would have to sit through a agonizing hours of sermons on self control instead of getting therapy or medical help, children with ADD would be flogged and yelled on to learn to concentrate and even punished and many times insulted, and if you even go ahead to explain your situation you’ll be met with amazing responses like “G0od forbid it’s not your portion” as if by simply saying that and taking your hand around and snapping your finger (the Yoruba God forbid sign) you’ll be better. There is just too much in this country people overlooking your needs as trivial because it’s not common. The worse is to have eating disorder in Nigeria, kai you’ll hear talk upon talk about how it is not your portion and about it is a disease for only the oyinbo people. Even something as medically proven as sinusitis I still have a lot of people pass crazy comments about how I’m not supposed to live in Nigeria o and some other ridiculous things, Nigerians don’t even believe there is anything like depression you’ll die of depression in Nigeria and people would blame the dead body sef.
   To live through all these and not commit suicide is hard, but to live through all these and not commit suicide and not be depressed and be content is real hard work, its hard work in a way but not so much, all you need to survive in Nigeria is LOVE, yes I said love, (oh don’t go religious on me just yet I know some religious folks are already about to close this page cause I said love, chill) y7eah its love; love for God helps you to live right, God love keeps you going, love for yourself helps you to let suicidal thoughts go, self love helps you to know what you can do and who you really are, love for others helps you forgive when they hurt you, loves for others makes you pray that they und3erstand better, love for others helps you not to hurt those who hurt you. Your survival in the land of so much is totally dependent on LOVE.
Lots of Love
Meshel

WHAT ARE YOU LAUGHING AT?

It was Wednesday afternoon about time for chapel hour, now at school we used to have chapel hour at 12 noon every Wednesday, it was one service i never gained anything from, i would already be drained before the service as i would have had classes from 8am till 12pm and would even still have by 1pm immediately  the service was over, i went in grumpily that day I then i sat down facing the entryway and then I saw a guy, he was Fineeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, yeah he was fine like that oh! He walked towards me and sat a little close to me, mhen he just gave me a good view for a boring Wednesday service, anyways into the service, the preacher said something and someone around us made a reply apparently is was supposed to be a joke and not a reply because almost every stupid person who sat around found some humour in it, now most of the people i saw laughing were people i already knew before and yeah i wasn’t amazed because i know they are silly like that, almost immediately my eyes went to my fineeeeeeeeeeeee dude and Boom! He was laughing too, now he wasn’t just laughing normally he was laughing like that was the funniest thing he had heard in forever. Now you can call me judgemental but there and then he stopped looking fine to me, i had no interest in him whatsoever, anyone who could find so much satisfaction in such profanity is certainly not one with good character.
A lot of us don’t count some seemingly little things as  important but every little thing is just as important, the way you stand, the way you sit, the way you walk, what you say all say something about you, but even the kind of jokes you find funny, the things you laugh at show your true character. A person with a good character will never laugh at any profane joke because its just not called for, they may not even be angry, they may just be indifferent. But some of us believe its our duty to laugh at every Joke that is told. Listen not every Joke is amusing and sometimes when you laugh to just make the joke teller feel funny, most times unknown to you, you give off a bad impression about who you are, I have no idea how my fine boy Really is in person but I was turned off just by the kind of thing he found humorous and satisfying. Be careful what you laugh at and laugh about it tells a lot more than you intend for it to. 
Love Meshel

SYMPATHY FOR THE DEVIL

If only someone had told him
If only someone had informed him
If only he'd gotten counsel
If only the devil knew
He wouldn't have messed with me
He wouldn't have touched me
He wouldn't even have come close.
He would have left me
Cos i was already his
I had the illusion i was in control
Which is the first step to pride
I going to be his most likely
If only life had gone like i planned
Because i never would have seen my need for God.
But then he did
He messed with me
And then i saw the need for God
I needed a heart fixer
I needed a healer
I needed a deliverer
And then i found Him
If only the devil had known
That for every time he touched me
He got me just a little closer to God
He wouldn't have touched me
If only the devil had known
He wouldn't have thought of me
All i have for the devil is sympathy
Because he touched one
He's lost many!

LEARN TO SAY STOP

A story is told of a woman who went to a diner after a long day, the waitress serving her coffee said to her to say stop when she's had enough coffee in her cup, she sat and watched as the waitress filled the cup with coffee and continued to pour it even as the cup was obviously filled up, it was then she remembered to say "WHEN". She expected that the waitress could see and know when the cup was filled up.
It’s how we humans are, humans would keep dumping things on you until you're bold enough to say “WHEN", to say stop when you've had enough, we can sit around and expect people to see when they have burdened us with too much people would know that they are putting much on you but your silence gives them a go ahead to continue.
Particularly females we have this instinct in us that just wants to make sure everyone feels good and is comfortable, but a lot of us are extreme with this, we get so busy pouring ourselves out to cater for the need of others, that we sometimes forget to care for ourselves, we are afraid to stop, we let kids, our husbands, our boyfriends, our extended family, our friends, to dump all of their problems and we overfull, we’re spent but we won’t stay stop, we just keep letting them pour it all on us, and we’re angry, we’re wondering if they can’t see you’ve had enough? The fact is people won’t take it that you’ve had enough until you say so. I did something titled “you come first” last year and a lot of people who read that thought I was just being selfish. But isn’t it sad when you’re angry and worn out and still doing things for people because work or good deed done in anger is as good as work not done. Its about time for each and every one of us to learn to stay stop, I need a break and really take a break to refresh when you’ve had enough. Pamper yourself, a day at the spa, swimming, just anything to cool off and relax. No matter how strong you seem you deserve a little rest from everyday’s stress and workload.
Love Meshel

ON BEING A LADY

My dad, well not my biological dad but my dad all the same, my dad shared some5thing with me over the weekend, well not just me a host of us his daughters about being a lady, he said so much yeah but there’s just one thing I’d like to write a little piece on.
   Don’t you just hate it when guys are rude to you? Or when guys decide to step on you without any single show of courtesy? Or about how guys can’t be gentlemanly around you? Yeah its something a lot of us contend with on a daily basis yeah? But do you ever think the problem is with guys or with you, I mean if you’d evaluate it you’re the constant in the whole equation, do you ever think the problem may just be you. Because it really might be you. I mean a lot of us ladies can be really rude and we wonder why people are rude to us. Severally people would treat you only how you’ve treated them (not always tho) but most times people reactions to you is only a direct representation of your own reaction to them. You want guys to be polite with you yeah? Then be polite to them. In my daddy’s words “The more you act like a lady, the more you bring out the gentlemanly sideo f the boys and men in your life” “when you ask nicely and gently, you’ll be surprised about the reaction it evokes in others”. Yeah what does he mean by acting like a lady? Being a lady is about being kind, being polite, being a genuine friend, being caring and being compassionate, and most of all believing the best about others and yourself. You have no idea how much your words affect the men, meet up with great men and one thing that seems common to most of them is their mothers words, you’ll hear them say things like my mother said this to me or that to me and that was it. Being a lady also involves having seasoned words, not being a scatter mouth.
   Now from experience people have often mistaken my being a lady for flirting. Errm that’s really common, it’s because ladies are scarce all the men meet are femen! (Yeah I just made a word) femen( female men) women who are almost men except for their physical bodies, so its normal for people to confuse you ladylike attitude for flirting, but its not enough reason to stop being a lady, gradually they realize it’s just who you are and not you being a flirt, and in the end it all works for the good.
lots of love
Meshelamia B. Kehinde

REJOICE

Hi everyone, a blessed day to you all, it’s been a while again and this time around it was beyond me, I took ill last week  and I’ve been unable to do much for the past week, I hope everyone of you is doing well? I’m a lot better and I’m using the little strength I have to do this because I love you that much.
In Phil 4:4 apostle Paul said “Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!” and the message translation puts it as “Celebrate God all day, every day. I mean, revel in him!” it’s amazing that apostle Paul wrote this while he was in prison. The last week has been crazy for me I had to miss a whole week of school because of my health condition, but one thing I’ve learnt from all this is our attitude is what would help us go through life successfully or otherwise. Being content and being thankful is the only attitude that helps us go through life triumphantly, I’m sure that is the secret of apostle Pails victory in his everyday life; His attitude. He was never for once upset or angry at God even when it felt like his troubles came from following Jesus. He spent every day even his prison days rejoicing, and that’s what kept him going severally. Being upset and angry doesn’t improve life’s situation its makes it worse if anything else, in fact proverbs 17:22 says
“A cheerful disposition is good for your health;
gloom and doom leave you bone-tired”
 God has called us to rise above life’s situations, the first step to rising lies in our attitude, by deciding above all things to rejoice.
Today make up your mind to be joyful!!!
Lots of love
Busayo Kehinde

I LEARNT SOMETHING NEW

I recently saw this quote somewhere  “for every trial we encounter in life there is supposed to be a positive impact in our character” There is just so many trials we face daily that sometimes we start to wonder if Jesus really cares. Earlier today I came across a quote by Paul Powell he said “God is more concerned about our character than our comfort, his goal is not to pamper us physically but to perfect us spiritually” then it hit me, its possibly the reason why some of us seem to keep moving from one trial to another, one phase of challenges to another, one struggle to another, it’s because God is trying to perfect you. For our struggles there is usually an impartation in our characters, for some love is imparted, for some faith, some trust, some hope, some joy, and some peace, so for every time you and I have any struggle and it’s like our physical bodies are being bent beyond us, bear in mind that your spirit is being perfected in Christ.
Great thing is much as God is more concerned with our spiritual perfection, he still has a thing for our physical body and that’s why he gave us the Holy Spirit; the comforter, to comfort us and encourage us to hold on, to soothe the physical pains we feel while our spirits undergo perfection. We can decide to hold on to the Holy Spirit and let him comfort and walk with us through our perfection stage, and ultimately walk us into our perfect day.

THE CASE OF GREEN TEA

 A story is told of a pastor who traveled somewhere for a conference, on one night when he returned to his hotel room he called for black tea, the waitress returned with a cup of tea, but on close observation he found out that it was actually green tea and not black tea, he called the waitress and told her, but to his surprise she continued to argue with him saying it was black tea, after a while she decided to bring the pack she took the tea from, when she brought the pack it was apparently a black tea pack, but when the teabags were carefully examined it was actually green tea. Apparently someone had opened a larger pack of green tea and put some of it in an empty pack of black tea.
    My question today is as a Christian are you actually black tea in a black tea carton or are you green tea in a black tea packet? Let me break it down a little, the hot water in the story above can be likened to trials in our lives yeah, after all the Sunday services, mid week services, bible study, crusade's, praying in tongues and evangelism three times a week during the good times who are you during your trying periods? Are you still that fervent Christian person? Or do you get mad at God and stay home from anything that has to do with him? Your dedication and love for God shouldn't be tied to situations, if anything should be constant in your life, it should be God. You could call yourself a Christian for all you are, the true test and proof of your Christianity is your reaction when you're thrown in hot water. Someone once said "while you're waiting for the storm to pass learn to dance in the rain" the ones who can do this are the original black tea, the ones who can still lift up their hands to heaven and say"I love you forever lord" when all of life is against them, yeah! They are the original "black tea"
Remember the true flavor of a tea bag is not gotten unless it is thrown into hot water. I guess it's what the book of proverbs meant when it said"if you faint in the time of adversity then your strength is small"
xoxo
Busayo kehinde

I'm waiting for that man

I'm waiting for that man
I'm waiting for you
I'm writing to you
I'm writing of you
I'm thinking of you
The thought of you makes every ounce of waiting worth it..
I know you'll be mine
I know you'll care when i can't
I know you'll love when I'm most unlovable
I know you'll share in my dreams
I know you'll understand my silence
I know you'll love my every breath like its yours
I know you'll interpret my very heartbeat
You'll see me when i can't see me
You'll remind me of Jesus
You'll hold my hand and travel with me through my worse days
You'll be my bestest dream come true
You'll be my answered prayers
You'll be a part of my forever
With you I'd drop all my weapons
Temi,
I promise i won't socialise
I wouldn't communicate
I wouldn't interact
With second hand copies of you while i wait.
While I wait, I'd pray, I'd watch, I'd grow
I'd gimme to God
I'd write about you
And I'd write to you.
Eyiwumi!!! My hearts gon scream when I see you.
I'd know when I see you 'cos like Elizabeth's baby leaped for joy at the greeting of Mary, so my heart's gon leap when I see you.
And I'd know cos you'll complete me
The wait is easy for me,
Cos I know what I'm waiting for
I'm waiting for that man
I'm waiting for that man who God was thinking of when he made me
I'm waiting for that man who'll be my forever and ever
I'm waiting for that man!!!
The answered prayer!
Eyiwumi, Eyitomi, Temi!
My one my only, my forever
❤❤❤❤ 

THE DROWNED PIGS OR THE KINGS GLORY?

We gathered at this day doom a home to varying social activities and the likes.
I get a seat near to the stage. Ripped jeans, long hair, rock stars… light, camera, action… the band plays, they rock. The man in front of me raises his hands up in the air all in surrender … we are gathered together in no other name… Jesus! While Tye Tribbet leads us in worship and praise to the king. The venue doesn’t make it a ‘heathen’ gathering, the man in front of me is not turned away, he’s raising his hands in worship. The men and ladies on the stage in ripped jeans are not judged, they are singing and stirring up an incense of worship so great, you feel the presence of God, its not how well or appealing the music is its not about how loud or low the music is, its not in the ripped jeans or skinny jeans, its not in the long hair
"we can't get the voice if we simply listen to the noise in the market place"
Its about the call of salvation and the number of people who surrender after each message to the name of Jesus, those who come eagerly to the place where they drop their strong will with open hearts for him to fill it in and take over…. It’s church in the wild! And the crazies are running in. Its sad what the critics are seeing daily, they see the ripped jeans on the stage but they fail to see the ripped hearts being healed by the love of God emanating from the singer in ripped jeans, the critics see the preacher with the Jerry curls the don't even get to hear the word of truth that's coming from the mouth of the preacher. The preacher has studs on! So what? The stud doesn't reduce his anointing. They don't see the lives that are being transformed all they see is the man. They fail to see the hearts that are hurting that receive healing by the word, they are so consumed by traditional way we started out Christianity.
 I'm reading Matthew 8: 28-34 it says;
"They landed in the country of the Gadarenes and were met by two madmen, victims of demons, coming out of the cemetery. The men had terrorized the region for so long that no one considered it safe to walk down that stretch of road anymore. Seeing Jesus, the madmen screamed out, “What business do you have giving us a hard time? You’re the Son of God! You weren’t supposed to show up here yet!” Off in the distance a herd of pigs was browsing and rooting. The evil spirits begged Jesus, “If you kick us out of these men, let us live in the pigs.”
Jesus said, “Go ahead, but get out of here!” Crazed, the pigs stampeded over a cliff into the sea and drowned. Scared to death, the swineherds bolted. They told everyone back in town what had happened to the madmen and the pigs. Those who heard about it were angry about THE DROWNED PIGS. A mob formed and demanded that Jesus get out and not come back"
Can you even imagine? Jesus healed the mad men and all the people  concerned themselves with were the drowned pigs.
  Its a practical picture of how we are, We’re so blinded by picking out faults that we refuse to see the glory, and the name of Jesus being lifted. We’re all so worried about the pigs; we’re not looking at the glory that came before the pigs drowned. Every one of us stands guilty of this in some ways the radicals and the religious alike, our priority is what a man looks like and what he's giving out. Remember scripture when Jesus was performing miracles some came and asked if he wasn't the son of the carpenter.
I've sat through services where I do not agree totally with all the preacher is saying and turned my mind away from the glory of God to the drowned pigs(looks) and everytime testimonies arise from such services I keep wondering where I was through the service. Don’t being so concerned and angry about the pigs(outer appearance) that you drive Jesus out. Let the pigs drown, having Christ in your midst is worth more than the lost pigs that get you angry.

THE SCARIEST THING

There is so much in life that sometimes I basically conclude that all of life is scary, I mean death is scary, as much as change is constant change is scary, I mean I think change is one thing that scares me most. isn't amazing how all of life just changes in a matter of minutes, how one phone call, one medical report, one wrong turn on the road and all of life changes. How three days ago she was a married woman with four kids and today she's a widow with just a child, how yesterday you had five siblings and today you've got just three, how you suddenly go from being the one the whole family depended upon to begin the one depending on others because of a disability or something, its scary its hurtful, its threatening.
 As a matter of fact I recently transitioned from being the healthy child in my family to being the only unhealthy one, there is nothing as scary as long late night trips to emergency rooms of various hospitals time and again, having doctors who look like the only thing they can do is put on heels and hold iPad and chew gum prick my veins. You have no idea how is almost kills me when I have to beg people to help me do things I normally would do myself without wasting any time but can't do again because of my health. The uncertainty of life scares me, the idea that tomorrow is not even guaranteed, the idea that those I love would leave me either by choice, compulsion, or even death, all of these is scary.
  But in the midst of all these there is only one thing that is most scary; its going through this life all alone, its going through your challenges alone, its going all out without Christ. I mean with Christ we know that even if everyone would leave JESUS STAYS, that even if you don't see tomorrow you'll be spending forever in heaven with JESUS, that even if your health fails you can count on Gods strength, that God's always got you, and most of all with Christ we have hope that his faithfulness is great and no matter how dark the night might be his JOY COMES IN THE MORNING. We live in an uncertain world and its all scary in there, but death isn't the scariest thing, change isn't it either, the scariest thing is going through life without God, no matter how much you let go of in life don't ever let go of Christ and don't even let God have a reason to let go of you, do all you can to keep you and God cool like that, cos if u ever loose him then you'll be the biggest looser and you'll face the scariest thing in life.            Love Busayo

I WAS BORN THIS WAY

I remember when i was in primary 2, there were several boys in my class but the one who stood out among them was a boy named Nnamdi, i was one of the smallest boys in my class and really he was the best looking,  but he didn’t stand out for any of these reasons, he stood out because he was always with girls, he wasn’t just always with girls he acted like a girl, while the boys in class went out to play football during break Nnamdi would rather stay with the girls and play “ten-ten”, he was the only boy who would cry when boys were being canned at school, he walked like a girl, to most of us he was a girl like any one of us and there was nothing wrong in that, but then we got into secondary school  and realised that it wasn’t normal for a boy to be like Nnamdi, in school people refered to him with words like “fag” “gay” “homo” and the likes, i hurt for Nnamdi, he was bullied and mistreated by every male, but i knew he had a good heart and he really was trying to be like other males, but he just seemed to fail. Nnamdi has decided to take it that he was born this way and live with it but recently he got into trouble at school and was expelled for the singular reason of being gay.
   Putting this story together was a little uncomfortable for me i know I’m treading a dangerous path writing about such a a controversial issue, the aim of this particular piece is not to criticize or condemn the homosexuals, its scarcely even about homosexuality. It’s a random piece I only decide to put that story together because that’s where the phrase I’m trying to address is often used. 
    We sin we do the wrong and we just simply say to ourselves “I was born this way” and that phrase is basically what I’m trying to address by this piece. When we talk about how we were born, fact is we all are born with a natural bend towards sin; scripture says “in iniquity did my mother conceive me” it means before we were born sin was already implanted in us, we have sin in us by default, and that is the reason we’ve got Jesus, if sin was something we had to learn when we were older then we wouldn’t need Jesus’ blood really cause we would need to chose to sin, so we all are born bent towards sin. But being born in a way doesn’t mean you have to live exactly that way. Take for instance sickle cell patients or even those born with asthma if they decide to say they were born that way and do nothing to help and manage and improve their condition what sense would that make? So is it with sin we born that way but like the sickle cell who have got to take routine drugs and shots so do we. We need routine shots of God’s word; we need daily doses of Jesus. We need to struggle even when it doesn’t seem to make any sense, we’re not suppose to give up fighting sin and say “I was born this way” I don’t care what sin you struggle with, pride, hate, lying, stealing, whatever it is. See God loves every one of us whatever our struggle is. He knows life is is hard for us and that’s why we have his promise that he’ll always be with us and nothing can separate us from his love Not even our sin. We might struggle with whatever it is all our lives but the point is we have to keep fighting like we battle for our lives, funny thing is scripture tells the end from the beginning and it says God has overcome and we are like God in this world, so it means you have overcome too, basically it means no matter how long we have to battle we wouldn’t have to battle forever, know why? Jesus has won the victory over sin on the cross, so I’m victorious no matter what I look like today!
  Finally someone once said “we had no control over how we were born, we can’t choose how we were born, but we can choose how we would live” so yeah I was born THAT way, but I choose to live HIS way!
Lots of love
BUSAYO

HOW THE LOST GET FOUND

Hi guys this piece was written long ago and i titled it randomness 'cos i had no idea what to call it. The new title came this morning, i was doing my laundry while Britt Nicole's music was playing on my phone, and then the song "the lost get found" started playing, and it was like i was listening to this piece only this time it was in the form of a song.  I hope u're blessed.
True story! The first time I ever wrote anything it wasn’t because I thought I was smart or I felt I was gifted or something it was because I felt like a misfit, the devil had me believe life wasn’t how if expected it to be because I was evil, the society and the whole world at large didn’t have a place for me because I was not the sort of person the world needed, that maybe even God has his regrets for creating me maybe God even created me when his imagination was running in the overdo mode, I believed the only place misfits like me existed were in the movies(yeah Divergent) and the books, so for me writing was my own way of writing out my existence, but in the past one year my writing has turned out to be one of the greatest things in my life and beyond being my best thing it’s been my source of freedom, and more than my being free its set others free. I started blogging because i needed a place in society if I’m the only misfit I’d write stuff people would love and gradually I’d fit into the crowd. If you’ll go through the blog you’ll notice something I started out with the popular things ‘’stories about love and relationship and the like’’(yeah because that’s what excites the average youth)  But something happened when I  let Jesus take the wheel and use the blog for his own glory, I realized I wasn’t a misfit in anyway, and there were several like myself who needed freeing but they needed one who  was willing to stand up, and I did, I had no idea what  I had done until I started to get DM’s, mails, messages on FB, sms and the likes from people I didn’t know and those I knew, when I started to write about my own experiences I was scared to death I pictured how people who knew me and knew my background would react I almost stopped at a point but I think I’ve gotten more support from them than i ever expected. Know what I’ve learnt in the long run? The devil is a liar, the one who gives us a false impression, he’ll have us believe the lie about ourselves because that’s what he is the deceiver, and if we’ll allow him he’ll set us on our back and oppress us cos yes he’s the oppressor and if we let him he’ll take us for a ride and even ride on us (cos he’s mean like that). Something else i realised and i want you to take note of is this; once in a while we all need a lie of the devil to launch us into greatness, we need his lie to annoy you, to push you into your biggest days, I’m where i am today because i heard the lie, bought the lie, i believed the lie, i lived the lie for a while and THE MAN UP THERE freed me and because of that others are going to be free and many others would find liberty each time they see what he has accomplished in me! But the only way we can be pushed into our bestest days is if we allow HIM (JESUS) take the wheel! Furthermore for every struggle in our lives something new is being accomplished in our character and in our spirit, the pain is at its peak when the child is about to be born so push in your spirit and let the glory be brought forth.
  Finally 2 Corinthians 1:4 says “He comes alongside us when we go through hard times, and before you know, he brings us alongside someone else who is going through hard times so that we can be there for that person just as God was there for us”. Somehow i feel this scripture has gotall the answers we could ever ask as to why we see hard situations its so someone else can be healed through you. So would you pls be fast and let the healing begin, the whole world is waiting in pains as of child for you to begin manifesting. The lost would only get found when we stop being timid and decide to stand out.
Ps: you can contact me via email at busayokehinde81@gmail.com or bbm 79102A1B
                                                                                                                             Lots of love and prayers
                                                                                                                                 Busayo Kehinde
Ps: ya'll go check out the song I spoke about.

WHEN GIANTS FALL ONLY JESUS STAYS

I’m going through a really difficult season in my life right now, if i had a chance I’d run away from all of it, in about a week my friend would be leaving school, much as I’m happy she’s moving up, I’m hurt, I’m scared, she’s been the only one for the whole year, we have so many good times, more she has so much in common with me, i guess it’s another reason we’re really close. It feels like God doesn’t even make any sense else why would he even allow my friend go away. However recently i learnt the greatest lesson of all and it’s what I’d be sharing today.
One way or the other people are always leaving, always growing always moving on, life changes, people come in and go out of our lives, nothing stays the same, good times come so do the bad times come, bad times don’t last neither do the good, and through death, decision or even situations everyone we know will someday leave us. The only one that will be constant in our lives is Christ. Because we have him in our hearts and because Jesus stays we have the strength and the confidence to love with all our hearts even when we are unsure of what tomorrow brings, since we know we always have him.
People would love, people would care people would even try to stick around, but in the end i guess there’s only so much human can put up with and when they get that so much only Jesus will still stick, he’s the only one we’ve got who can put up with us, the only friend who wouldn’t have to change schools, leave the country, graduate and leave us behind, move a thousand miles away. When the wig drops, when all the chips are down, when our health starts to fail us, when everyone we know seems turned against us, when those who are not against us are too busy to care, when the night draws and everyone returns to their homes, when all is said and done, when the giants are falling apart and everyone deserts them only Jesus stays. Pardon my blabbing, pardon my long story the only message, the only theme and the only purpose of this write up is to pass one basic truth across JESUS STAYS.
Ps: you can contact me via email at busayokehinde81@gmail.com or bbm 79102A1B
                                        Lots of love
                                     Busayo Kehinde

THANKFUL!!!

A few hours after I finished writing this piece to scream out my hearts gratitude to God, mom returned from work with news that a friend to the family had stopped breathing, my siblings and I stood praying hoping for a miracle few hours later daddy called with the news we'd been dreading and before we knew his death certificate was all we had. I wondered why God let him go we prayed for him to be healed and free, but I understand now that he's free well free than we'd ever imagined. He was set free never to know pain again. I thank God for him. So that won't hinder my gratitude cos I know God z got him.
Here’s something i do all the time i write about how faithful and kind God has been to me and how thankful i am for all he’s been doing, it was on my mind to do that also today but on waking up this morning i realized i had no reason to be thankful for, first i woke up with a headache and serious cold, second there was no light so i’d have to be bored all day, oh and did i forget to  add my laptop crashed recently which has just ruined a lot for me, i mean my laptop is the bestest thing i love, i could live without everything but not my laptop, my laptop is my first born, my personal baby, the only something i love, its really my special something, plus my big daddy and my spiritual father has been transferred from my reach not just one oh two of them. For all these and many more reasons i have no reason to be thankful.
  But let me shock my stupidity all these are reasons why i should be thankful, i woke up with headaches i should be thankful that my body system functions properly and it’s able to communicate stimulus and feelings even if that feeling is PAIN! A whole lot of people have lost the ability to feel and would pay to just feel anything again, I should be thankful that each time i know pain its another opportunity for God to show himself again as the healer in my life, i should be thankful that even with the headache i can stand up have breakfast, put on my makeup and brush my hair, people my age and even younger die daily but even when pain is so much on me my keeper didn’t see it fit to take me away, i should be grateful! I should be thankful i have eyes to see and even know when there is light or not, i should be thankful i have a home, if i didn’t have one would i even be concerned about light?, i’m thankful i could sleep and wake up, i’m thankful for my mind because i have the mind of Christ, i’m thankful for the creative power God has endowed me with and caused me to write, i’m thankful for my laptop(my special something) it’s been my companion through a lot of times in my life, i’m thankful for my family i’m not sure how much i could have taken without them and I’m thankful for the lessons I’ve learnt from being with them, i’m thankful for my friends and special parents much as they’ve been transferred I’m thankful God let me know them, i’m thankful for another special family i have at school Worship house family, my heart swells with love for them, I’m thankful for the times I’ve had to cry, ehn ehn did you know tears wash the eyes?(yinmu i’m just saying o), so each time I cry its God washing my eyes so I could see what's next, I’m thankful for love, I’m thankful for my bible, I’m thankful for my fingers the ones i use to type daily they never get tired and they seem to get faster daily, i’m thankful for my eyes they are beautifully big, I’m thankful for my hair its not as long as that of that girl in that Indian movie but its not falling out because I’m suffering from cancer, I’m thankful i have God, i’m thankful i’m not scared anymore, I’m thankful i have a friend i could really disturb (I’d write your name if you’d never see this but I have no guarantee, but if you do see this I’m sure you’d know it’s you :P), I’m thankful there is God and he is no man, and most I’m thankful for God’s plans for my life, they are beautiful I know that well. For these and many more reasons i am indeed thankful.
What about you? Thankful or not?

LOST IN BAR BEACH

I remembered an incidence from when I was a little child, myself my mom and my elder sister had gone to bar beach at Lagos with a family friend, I didn’t like horses at the time so while every other person was having fun with the horses I sat with mom  at the shore  everything was going fine until mom went to get something for me from our picnic bag and as she left the waves started coming towards me now anyone who knows me knows I could be really fearful and when I’m scared I literally lose my mind, here’s what I did I got up and ran as far as I could from the waves, as I ran from the waves I ran from my family(the people I was supposed to be with) as well as where mom had put me to sit. Mom went to get something for me and came back and couldn’t find me she got worried and was searching like crazy for me, while me? I had no idea i was even lost, mom found me among some wannabe musicians at the beach with their banjo’s and guitars and playing music for me and me i was drinking fanta and smiling and enjoying the music (lol)
I was trying to catch a little sleep this afternoon when this memory came to mind, i wondered why at first but now I think I understand a little more, like me a whole lot of us are ‘’lost in bar beach’’ in real life and we have no idea we are lot, we saw stuff that scared us or threatened us and we decided we couldn’t face it so we thought to run away, and somehow we’ve run and we’re comfortable where we are like my experience we’re drinking fanta among wannabe singers and dancing to their music. When I think of that experience I just picture what could have happened if mom hadn’t found me at the time she did and night started to draw, my company would have left (obviously none of them would have taken me home) and then what next?  Or if one of them decided to take me home I wonder what I’d be today I’d possibly be one chic shaking my bum on a music video or something. Now let’s come to real life a lot of people are enjoying false companionship because they are scared of being forever lonely, some are settling for a life of falsehood because they are scared of who they are, unfortunately night is gon come soon and everyone who we’ve found false company with would find their way home and we’d be torn between two options either to go to the home of another (which shouldn’t be our home) or to go back to where we’ve run from and try to find our way back. I think it’s about time for us to evaluate or lives and be sure of where we are, because those who are not supposed to be with you until forever can’t be with you until forever and when they leave you’re still gon have to go back to whatever it is you’ve run from to get your forever. For me I was lost in bar beach and i was found real early so I’m way lucky but it’s worse to be lost in life. Don’t ever give fear the upper hand and have fear cause you to get lost in life.
                                                                                                                                                Lots of love
                                                                                                                                                       Busayo

I’M NO GOOD

I’m no good
When I say I’m no good
I don’t mean I’m like evil
I’m not the practical bad person
I’m just no good
Unattractive, ugly, needy, messy,
Hard hearted, unkind, stupid, untalented,
So you see I’m not bad I’m just no good
And because I’m no good I needed a compliment
Just a compliment! “Maybe it was going to make
Me feel good” I thought
So I started to search I gave my heart to everyone who came by
In exchange for a compliment, just someone to say I was beautiful
No I didn’t want “hot” I didn’t want to be called “sexy”
I wanted beautiful! Was that too much to ask??
But I remember quite a few “you’re just there” or “you’re not really ugly”
And worse “you’re ugly” but no one ever said pretty or beautiful.
I wasn’t going to give up, there had to be someone out there who thought I was special
So I continued to give my heart to all until there was no more heart ‘cause everyone I
Gave me to ripped a piece of my heart and fed it to the pigs, I watched in horror as pigs fed on my heart
How bad could it be that only pigs would want my heart.
And then I met him, he sure had to have a compliment somewhere in all his cuteness
I wanted to give me to him for a compliment, but there was nothing left of me
Except for a torn and mess in place of a heart, and a sick and disfigured body.
But he loved me that way, even when I didn’t love him, he loved me anyway
And now I was willing to give me to him, he wanted me, he was willing to take
My messed up heart as an offering ‘cause I had nothing to bring to the altar
He not only took the heart he HEALED the heart, he didn’t give me the compliment I wanted
He gave me a lot more than a compliment.
The HE who created my inmost being, who knit me together in my mother's womb.
The one who made me fearfully and wonderfully, the one who says I’m incredibly special!
He’s the HE, the KING, the I AM, the FRIEND, the LOVE and the one who lives inside of me!
I’m no good still, but now he who is all good lives on my inside and that is all I need.
I’m no good yet but I’m certainly great and more I’m kingdom!

IN SEARCH OF WATER

Sometime last month I returned from class really thirsty, I didn’t care to look around me for water i immediately asked my roommate if she had any water, she said she didn’t, I checked my purse and realised I didn’t have any money in it, I tried to remember what I did with the last money I had in there couldn’t remember so I had to  borrow money from my roommate to buy water, I went to get water lo and behold the room where they sold water was locked, I was too thirsty to wait for these who sold stuff there to return so I started the journey in search of water I went two block ahead i couldn’t get, I came back and went two blocks behind my block and I didn’t get either I returned to my room a little sad but mostly frustrated! On getting to my room I lay on my bed almost depressed and let my eyes wander on its own accord somehow I strayed to my table and on it were three sachets of water,  smh I can’t even describe the pain I felt in that moment! First I became a beggar I had to beg for 10 naira, after the begging I became a wanderer like Cain; all because I needed the water I already had in excess. How pathetic!

   It’s not limited to just me it’s how a whole lot of us are, I’m just the sacrificial lamb sharing my story. Last year I did the Dear Boaz series on the blog (if you’ve not read that you should totally check the archives), the last piece I did there was the story of how the writer eventually met her partner, he turned out to be someone she’d been really close to someone she’d shared her most confidential stuff with, someone who’d even set her up on dates and hooked her up with guys. Its how a lot of us really are, we realise or feel like we need something we fail to look around us, we fail to see those things inside us we’re up and quick to go out, to search, to hustle, and stuff. Worse is we come back frustrated, depressed, unfulfilled and unsatisfied fact is we can never be. I’m not sure what it is for you that you’ve been looking out for some singles its possibly a partner and you’ve been looking all out but your partner could be that person you’re so yourself with the one you gist and gossip with about everything, your work buddy, the person next door and you’re busy travelling all over west Africa to attend every wedding and party hoping he’ll be there (take it easy oh! Ebola is real lol oh and not every close friend/neighbour is your potential partner you friend zone worse still brother/sister zone oh! Hold  me for what i wrote and not what you understand :D)  for some of us its stuff we really want to do and we feel we need money so we’re out looking for who’s just gon come drop a million dollar at you feet. Really!

       My bible tells me that God has given to me all I need for life and Godliness, what this means to me is every single thing I need to live, to live right, to enjoy life, to achieve my dreams, to succeed, to be happy and to be godly has been made available and in locked up in me by God all I need do is look inside of me, there’s something in me if I use would give me all the money I need to live, there’s people around me I need in my life but I’m too busy looking out for a knight in shining armour (who puts on a shinning amour sef) and if I don’t look closely I’d pass up on everything  I need just cos I’m too busy looking out. Just before you look how ‘bout you look in.

                                                                                                                                                            Lots of love

                                                                                                                                                        Busayo Kehinde

HOPE

Hi guys its been forever! this post has been ready for over a week but due to circumstances beyond me i couldnt put it up, but its better late than never. lots of love

31^st August 2012

10:00 am

  I’ve been up since 5am praying, hoping for a miracle in a few hours I’ll be wheeled into the theatre for what would be my 4^th surgery unfortunately its going to be one of the most traumatic ones and  I’ll return from theatre with a scar. At about 10am the nurse walks in, gives me the blue OR dress few minutes late she comes in with a plaster my name, age and details of the surgery is written on the plaster and its taped to my hand like a wrist watch possibly in case I die or I’m disfigured beyond recognition there’ll be the identity, I sat on the bed listening to Lara George’s “Emi a rire” something about that song gave me hope so I listened to it and replayed over and over the part of the song that says “ iku ole pa mi translated “death cannot kill me and no matter what  the pain that I feel I know there’s no mistake” at about 10:30 the theatre attendant come to take me to the theatre, the journey to the theatre was possibly the longest I’d ever embarked on, in the 5 minutes it took us to get to the theatre memories of the whole 16 years I’d spent on earth flashed before me, and I knew my family would be changed forever if I didn’t make it and before I knew it I had tears streaming down my eyes I took one last look at the outside world, gave mom a shaky smile through my tears one last time and then I was taken into the theatre, in the theatre several machines were connected to various parts of my body and a mask was placed over my nose for me to take in the oxygen, I was told to count my numbers from one to ten “1,2,3,4,5,6….,..7….. that was the last I said before I lost consciousness…………….

31^st August 2012

6:00pm

I woke up to the smell of blood and there was pain real pain, painkillers were being injected into my body to kill the pain, the pain was less physical, the physical pain was secondary and very bearable my heart was huer, my soul and spirit were broken and no amount of pain killers could heal that! I opened my eyes and saw mom, I was late wheeled back to the ward I never saw how I looked until three days later.

2 years on……………..

31^st August 2012

It’s exactly two years since that horrid Thursday morning, my life has never again been the same there have been pain, post surgical abscesses, there’s been pain there’s been allergies there’s been struggle, but above it all there’s been healing, my life has never been the same again and may never be same again but for the most part it’s been positive change, today I’m thankful for the pains because if not for them how would I have known God as my healer, my peace and my defense, it’s not been an easy route but it’s been worth it, like my bible says in psalm 30:5 “weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning” there’s been the nights of weeping but finally there’s joy. Yes in our lives there would be pain and we can decide to haphazardly move through life and bear it all alone or we could got to Jesus and believe he’s going to walk with us through it all above all let our hope lie in the fact that after the pain would come the healing and he wont just heal the physical body he’ll heal the soul and finally the spirit also. And yes God is always in control, he’s bigger and always king over our lives.  If only we’ll be patient enough and HOPE! Today I could safely say if I could go back to years before today there’s nothing I would pray to change, because without all of it I would never have grown, known all I know now or even be close to who I am today.

                                                                                                                                              Lots of love

                                                                                                                                           Busayo Kehinde