MY THOUGHTS I don’t know if you’ve ever thought of this at one point or the other in your life. I got to Lagos airport really late last night my parents were out of town therefore there was no one for me to hurry home to so I took my time and didn’t even mind coming home with the last flight, all was well until a few minutes into the flight a man stood up and walked past me and I knew it was him, he looked same as the last time I saw him, It took heavenly intervention for me not to get up and go under my seat, “how in God’s name did I get on the same plane as this guy?” as I was trying to think of what to do he came back in, immediately saw him come in I began digging my purse for things that were not missing, he passed and didn’t give me as much as a glance the entire flight and if nothing else I was so relieved when the plane landed, however that was when the worst happened, as I made to exit the plane I felt a hand on my hand a hand that was unmistakably his, I had felt his hands on my body all too much not to know how his hands felt, anyway I turned pretending surprise, and then I looked at his eyes and it all came back again and I was wondering again why I left him in the first place “it’s been a while and I’m really happy to see you” he said to me I didn’t talk as I knew if I did I was going to stammer and he was going to read meaning to my stammering so I quickly offered a quick smile shook myself free of his grip and hurriedly walked to my car and baba my driver took me home. On getting home I ran into my room, I started to think and for the first time since I got born-again I felt like my life was way easier before I got born again, then I didn’t have to fight him when all I really wanted to do was be with him, normally before I got born again I would have gone home with him and we would have gotten nasty that night but here I was fighting him with all I could, the fight was killing me I felt like a child overdosing on asthma attack, the room gradually began to feel too small and chocked up for me, I was still in this state when I heard my room door open and as I looked up I couldn’t believe it he wasn’t really standing there, I must have passed out and was in an unconscious state or I was just simply imagining things, but no I wasn’t he was really there he walked up to my bed sat next to me and in his sexiest voice he whispered some empty nonsense to me the only thing I could make out from all he said was “kiss me” and I that instant I didn’t mind I was saved, I did what I always did before I found God, I kissed him and before I knew it he was reaching for the zip to my dress, it was at that point I regained control of myself and pushed him away but he wouldn’t go we started to struggle, I was getting weak I wanted to give in, at the same time I knew what always happened after we did it, thank God for Caro who brought in my dinner at that time and he had to leave me alone. I don’t know how many of you can relate to this feeling, we are saved and after we are saved we are tempted and suddenly want to go back because it takes a lot to fight temptation and yielding is easier, or we feel our lives were less restricted before we found Christ but now with Christ there is a lot we can’t do like those simple white lies we told without guilt, times we didn’t have money and we are tempted to alter some financial reports e.t.c. I don’t know if anyone else feels that way, once in a while I feel like that however every time it happens I realize that going back is like leaving the one who loves me totally and really for a one night stand with an abusive overlord, of that the proverbs are true a dog that returns to its vomit, more times than I’ll like to admit I’ve thought that way, but today I realize that every time I’m faced with situations like that it’s like heaven and hell are watching you waiting to see who will win over your life, keep this picture in your mind daily and it’ll help you every time you get into such situations. Have a great day and bear in mind “you life could not and would not be any better without Christ in it.” Xoxo Busayo

ON DATING AND INTIMACYHello people, trust you had a good weekend, and i thank God for making you see the last monday in november, honestly this year ran faster than any i've ever seen, and in the twinkle of an eye the year would be over, i'm really thankful i got to see this year and i'm thankful i'm still alive and you my dear readers are alive and able to read, that you're not in some remote jungle unable to have access to technology or blind God is amazing and for these and many more i'm utterly thankful to God. However today i'd like us to muse about two issues that has been of concern to me. 1) Do we date as christians or do we just go into courtship? A lot of times in the church when this issue comes up the only thing i hear is we don't date as christians we only court. However personally i dont see it as that. Whats your take on this. Lets have your opinion. 2) How intimate can i be with a person i'm dating/ courting? A few months ago this guy asked me out and was all mush about the fact that i had cute lips and all, and polietly i smiled as i didn't know what next to do, and then he made to kiss me and i refused and that was it, we didn't date again. A lot of relationships around us today is charactised by the whole kissing and intimacy thing, call me a 1960 chick if you want, but honestly i totally still believe in the virginity thing.The other day we had a convo about this and i said i could hug anybody anywhere, but with my partner i'm more careful, personally i believe that its not just a hug, there are also feelings attached to it and a little this and a little of that leads to the main thing :D and a lot of people gave me the "how-many-centuries-ago-were-you-born?" kind of look. Now thats just my thinking. Whats your take on that? Lets muse people. Just drop your comment and let me know what you think.

DEAR BOAZ For a lot of single people, singleness results in frustrations, so as a male figure you are either a partner material or an enemy, this is actually not on purpose most times but its just how it happens, we are either partners(about to get married) or enemies who don't relate. we are extreme, we either love them or hate them we don't have a safe ground for just friendship,ACTUALLY THAT SAFE GROUND IS WHAT WE NEED. One thing i've observed is in such atmosphere people can be real, for instance someone you hate who wants you to like them, would likley pretend just to get you to like them, while the one you love outrightly could just pretend to impress, however in the ordinary friendship relations the need to impress is less. pretence would thrive in the white or black relationship while in friendship pretence would be unnecessary thus relationships built from friendship are usually more true, so while you may be single you need to avoid extremity and stay on the confortable middle ground of plain platonic friendship. So today i urge singles to stop searching for either a husband or one more male to hate, but begin to establish and cultivate healthy friendship, and who knows your mr.Boaz might just be one of the members of your circle of friends. Have a great week. Love Busayo.

ESTABLISHING BOUNDARIES About a week ago i did this post on the topic "RUN!!" where i mentioned the need to have boundaries. So today i'll just be doing a little exposition on the need for boundries, creating and adjusting our boundaries, as well as our boundaries and our relationship with others. First what is a boundary? A boundary can be defined as a limit above which is trespassing, by this i mean is simply a limit to which something can be done, also a boundry is also a way of seperating one place from another anywhere outside the boundary is a trespass, for instance a boarder of a country is a boundary of that country. Every one needs a boundary in their life, a life without boundary is one that moves without direction and that is a very risky point to be in life, a life without boundary takes in everything both the good and the sinful. If we'll be honest or are sensitive enough we'll admit that there are some conversations we get into and at a point things which are been said begin to affect us negativley (actually we need to realise that these conversation may not be sinful) however they have negative effects on us, if we don't identify our boundaries we'll contine such conversations and end up getting into trouble or falling into sin, there are things people do that mess with our emotions and a lot of other things however these things are not always sinful(tho they could be at times). In simple words the need for boundaries is all to guard our hearts and prevent ourselves from falling into problems. Something we also need to realise is our boundaries are usually limited to us and there is no perfect way of stoping others from trespassing, we also do not have to make them feel like sinners, for instance there is no polite way of saying "can you not do that? It makes me struggle with my thoughts" its a simple way of turning a conversation from simply netural to "totally weird" so in our relationship with others our boundaries will tend to be trespassed however we can simply divert attention or a discussion another way without making it seem all weird, and if we can't divert attention we can curteously exeat the discussion without making it seem all weird, also know that your boundaries might limit you from moving with certain people you'll naturally love to move with its one of the sacrifice we have to make for success and also for heaven, also having boundries don't make you less special or less than any one else, it only makes you different and our differences from others are not a reason to be weary or feel inferior our difference from others is simply God's finger print on us. Finally over time i've discovered that boundaries could change, hence once in a while there would be a need to revise our boundaries and adjust them as the case may be. Have a beautiful day, and i'm hoping after reading this one of you would figure and establish their oun boundaries. I love you all my dear readers and i'm praying for you all. You can send your messages, questions or even prayer points to my email busayokehinde32@yahoo.com, and i'll reply promptly. Xoxo honeydrops

DEAR BOAZ: DON'T MARRY A MAN UNTIL YOU ARE MARRIED TO HIM! Hello people sorry I've not being updating my dear Boaz posts like i promised, the last week has been really stressful i've had a lot of tests and stuff, however here is another one. Hope you enjoy it. I also want to thank God very much for my family, thursday last week made it 21 years my parents have been together and i'm thankful for them, they are a part of my inspirations i love and I'm really thankful for them. The other day a friend of mine posted something on facebook about how her mind does this automatic rating once she sees a guy. Now i can't really say its wrong to rate someone by some of the things they do or look like, however for some of us our mind does a lot more that the "handsomeness meter" test, we meet a guy he says hello, and thats it, "he's in love with you" and right on your seat you marry him, 'you do a tux fitting(not physically), walk into the church with him staring at you, your family in the congregation, your favourite pastor giving the sermon, your honeymoon, you begin to have children, you picture how they'll look, you even give them names, before you even get to know the guys name'. For some of us a polite hi equals "hello how are you? You are so beautiful, would you marry me? Really we need to realise that not every man is YOUR potential husband, and also stop qualifying or disqualifying people. Without even giving them a chance to be our friends, we need to have friends even if we'll have a partner. Not every hi is a proposal we need to stop marrying people until we are married to them. Have a beautiful sunday! Xoxo HoneyDrops

RUN!!! For a while i've been trying to understand the concept of flee all apperance of evil. I've never really sat down to consider it and i asked God to explain it to me. Now i've never really sat to listen to God or learn from little things around me, i keep expecting God to show me a large scary picture in a dream or something like that and until now i never understood the scripture. I remember something my pastor once said, he said we christians like difficult things, we don't like simple prayer we want 40 days and 40 night fasting and prayer, the prayer of your pastor over the phone is not enough we want the laying on of hands, we're not even enought with laying on of hands we want annointing oil, we don't even mind pastors lying down on us in the name of deliverance, we don't even mind fake so long a there's "miracle" to show for it, its so amazing how we pursue hard things when simple things produce same results. May God help us o! Back to the matter o, what does it mean to run and why is it that we don't run always? I have been so spiritual about this issue expecting a deeper meanin but here is what i found, to run as its written in the bible is the same as the actual meaning of 'run' that is- to move away with speed, now why don't we run? The answer is simple in real life it take more effort to run than to sit in a place, so applying it to the issue at hand its easier to just sit and look or fall for evil than to run from it and as humans we're always looking for the easiest way out hence we never get to run. The second issue "apperances of evil" reading that part i realised that a lot of things in their actual sense may not be wrong but could lead one to evil for instance, while people kissing in a movie may not be a sin(i'm not sure of that tho) it may be just what would set a struggling porn addict off, while, watching a movie and seeing people smoking and drinking and being glad may not be a sin it could be what would set an alchol addict off. Here's the drill an apperance of evil may not be same for everyone know what yours is and work to flee and pray for grace to flee, and when your find yourself in compromising situations don't sit there thinking an angel from heaven will run dow and tell you to flee(you'll wait ehn!) no follow your instinct and run as fast and as far as you can. However before you can flee you need to sat boundaries(i'll be writing on boundaries tomorrow) Have a fulfulied monday and remember to RUN! Today, in the office, in class, at the mall, in the cinema, even in the midst of friends. Always have your RUN button on and press it once the situation calls for it.

DEAR BOAZ: CLINGY MUCH? Hey people its been a while, i do hope you all are well and in good health, may the grace of my God continually be there to keep and guide us all. Also to all those who have continued to encourage me and support my blog i'm grateful its because of you and God i still write stuff on here, thanks a lot. This is actually supposed to be fridays post but school has been tedious, so i haven't had time to write anything, however they say its better late than never so i guess thats it. Hope you enjoy this piece. Kolade and i dated for quite 2 months before he decided to call it quits, his reason being that i was too clingy. Honestly while we dated i didnt see it as being clingy its was just that i loved him and was proud of him so i felt the need to always be around him, while we dated i saw kolade as the salt of my life like without kolade my life was empty and tasteless but now i've discovered that he was just supposed to add colour to an already beautiful life, Kolade was the number 1 in my life which was just totally wrong the no 1 was and is supposed 2 be for God and nothing or anybody else, but for Kolade it was different i could put God on hold for a conversation with kolade, i stopped hanging out with my girlfriends and was always with Kolade, i escused myself from family sunday lunch because kolade was free and i could not afford to miss a chance to be with Kolade, the height of it was that i asked questions about any girl i saw with him or arround him(over do abi?) now to me that was protecting my own interest, i would spend weekends at his place arranging and cleaning his place and preparing his meals, i even hung potraits of myself on his wall whenever his friends came they'd call me "our wife" and i'd be very glad and cook for them all, i was so sure he was my Boaz since his friends "liked" me (if i had known what his friends thought of me i'd have poisoned their meals when i cooked mtcheww) i even started going out with his friends and himself, i didnt mind if there was going to be nothing for me to do there, i'd just sit alone and watch them have fun. The height of it was when i followed them for an all guys weekend trip, one of the nights they went to a club and people were smoking everywhere now i'm asthmatic and very allegic to smoke however i just had to me near my man so i stayed until i had an attack and had to be rushed out of the place, i guess my attack ruined their trip as the guys had an arguement that night and in the end kolade and i left without the others, when we returned kolade and i had a little arguement, so i decided to be a little scarce, however i could not i missed him too much, he was my "oxygen" in less than a day i was already calling him and apologising he said it was okay and asked if i could be a little scarce i agreed, but i kept on calling him infact i'll call him up to 10 times a day just to hear his voice, to be sure he was fine, becaused i missed him, if he changed his dp i'd ask questions about where and where he took the pictures and who he was with, until one friday i called him and heard a female voice in the background and off i went to his office there was no lady on sit and for some reasons i can't fathom i started searching under his table for the chic i guess that provoked him as he suddenly started shouting at me telling me i was too clingy and acting like i didn't have a life, and about how all his friends were now referring to him as "the man with the wife" and finally he told me he was done. Immediatley he told me he was done i ran to my car and for the next 10 minutes i couldn't start the car as i was crying and shaking, i had just joined the league of single ladies once again, when i could finally muster enough strenght to drive i started to go but on my way i got so distracted and frustrated i almost had an accident at that point i just parked my car and let out a frustrated scream "Boaz how many times would i be rejected before you would come out abi do you want me to join the convent ni?". Dear single ladies we can be loving without been to clingy or around all the time, now its not wrong to be there for your partner all the time but while you do this try not to appear insecure or idle to the point of being is un needed PA, most especially when u're not yet married, also don't make anyone number 1 in your life not even your partner that is the God spot and let it remain so, furthermore that you're in a relationship should not be a reason why you should stop being friends with people once in a while still hang out with people like you(same sex) its actually beneficial, same for the single guys (infact a clingy guy is just a sad idea). Finally bear in mind that being single is not a disease but a time to build yourself up physically, spiritually, emotionally and otherwise and a great time to build self esteem and independence as well. Hope you all enjoyed and learnt from this piece.

DEAR BOAZ: SELF ESTEEM AND SETTLING FOR LESS I recently heard about a woman who had been separated from her husband for many years. They no longer lived in the same house, but every day, he would come over and have her iron his shirts and make him breakfast. One of the women in the room asked her why she kept holding on to him. Why she let him come over and dictate her life when he didn’t want to be a part of her life. “I guess I feel, I don’t deserve– I don’t deserve to be happy.” That realization stunned her. It brought her to tears. She had been punishing herself for making the ‘bad decisions’ that got her into this situation. As I watched that show I remembered my relationship with Dipo, he was one of the most amazing men I’d ever known he was totally my Mr. Boaz, 6ft,light skinned, sexy, he had a really amazing voice, and cute dimples that left me confused every time he smiled at me in short he was my knight in shining amour, however Dipo was fine and he knew it and would always remind me of that and the fact that many other girls would be willing to have him or even share him with me and how he was managing me whenever we had an argument, our relationship was one I couldn’t even understand myself but if someone as fine as Dipo could decide to manage me I just had to please him, Dipo was practically the most uncaring guy I’d ever met but after several failed relationship, anyone was good enough for me. He would snap at me at any point in time he wanted and I’ll be the one to apologized to him for misbehaving and feeling sad over him yelling at me, while we dated I was 70% the giver and I always made do with whatever measly 30% he offered now and then, I’d lap it up like a thirsty kitten, grateful for the occasional love thrown my way, not really love just gifts, he cheated and cheated on me up till the point I was now grateful to be called or visited, he turned my into a shadow of myself a crazed out girl. Eventually he broke up with me himself telling me he didn’t deserve me. I never imagined myself begging a guy but I begged Dipo that I wasn’t complaining I was willing to manage. No Dipo passed on my offer and eventually we broke up. Shortly after we broke up I was listening to a message on attractiveness when the pastor talked about self esteem he talked about the Israelite spies who went out to spy a land saw giants and ran back saying “they were as ants before themselves and that was how the people saw them” then I realized that it was how I saw myself Dipo saw mw all along, the reason he was able to treat me the way he did. Now here’s a little piece to all single people have a healthy self esteem the way you see your self is the way your partner would address you, if you go acting like you are looking for love and you don’t mind getting it from anyone and anything you would also be treated so. Also that you are single doesn’t make you any less human or special therefore you need not settle for less.