CULTURALLY REACTIVE PURITY

                          

I think I’ve done like two posts on purity, unfortunately I keep having to come back to it, this is one issue that breaks my heart. The church has tried to define purity, families have tried to do so but every time technology advances a new definition comes as well, every time society praises something a new definition comes, very rarely do we even have definitions, it’s more of rules, now I’m not against rules or anything, but I believe if we as a church told the truth about purity we wouldn’t need to revisit the issue every time there is advancement, We are guilty as a church, of being culturally-reactive with our “truth.” There are certain ideas about purity that we don’t share until society cooks up some bold-faced lie.  Then, we come out kicking and screaming with this truth that appears to have just come out of nowhere.  We react to the culture. The baby got thrown out with the bath water.  Every time culture praised something, the church condemned it– not society’s misuse of it.  Whatever ‘it’ was suddenly wrong.

We did it with sex too.  We still do it with sex. Society misuses it, so Christians shouldn’t even do it.  At least, that’s how we act.

We are guilty of teaching purity (or abstinence) not in a way that is grounded in truth, but in a way that is shielded from the culture.  That’s why it has to keep changing.  That’s why what started as a six inch rule has had to be clarified to include oral sex, petting, sexting, etc.  That’s why when 50 Shades of Gray came screaming onto our radar, Christians went into an uproar.  Now we need a whole new list of rules that covers reading material, cell phones, webcams, and Face book.

Truth does not change, which means we must be presenting it wrong if we have to keep changing our story. Pardon me if this sounds like condemnation of the church its not meant to be so, I say this with a clear heart towards the church, I attend church, I love the church and yes my church has helped me, but the truth has to be said, severally all the church does is out rightly condemn whatever culture praises, I mean some churches do not dance because people dance in clubs and whatever, we do not talk about sex because society praises it, we forget that as much as we are Christians we are at large a part of society and the only way we would never get to interact with society is if you stayed in a room locked, with no tv, no phones, talked to nobody, read nothing and did nothing at all, but for the most part you’re reading this so at least you have something, I believe purity is of the heart and comes from the understanding that God created all things, and nothing is sinful about all he created except when we begin to use all he has created without him being involved and out of the context he created it for us.

If our churches had a little understanding of this I guess we wouldn’t be so culturally reactive with our truth, we need realize we have teens and young adults in the church, if we do not talk about things because society praises them, because a whole lot of these things are natural things and the curiosity would develop soon society ends up teaching them wrongly, and we would make more rules and try redefining purity again.

IT’S IN THE PAST

Sometime ago I got a message from someone really close to me, at the end of the sms he wrote “the past is passed” this entire post is inspired by a picture I stumbled upon last night. Ever wondered why the past is referred to as ‘PAST’? its because that’s its poisition, that’s where it ought to stay, your past is behind you, however the decision weather it would walk with you into your future and you’ll drag it forever is left in your hand. Severally we’re comfortable in the pain of the present because we feel we have to pay a price for the past, we are content with less satisfying lives, with pains and discomfort, because we were such horrible things and did really horrible things in the past, and that’s the price to pay for our foolishness……… but havent you heard that he is God and that if any man be in him he’s a new creature and the past no matter how horrid is passed and all has become new, havent you been told that he is he who blots out our transgressions and remembers our sins no more, he said tho our sins be as red as scarlet his blood would wash us clean so long as you are in christ, you do not have any price to pay.

  Then it hit me again why do we even think we need to pay? Then somethimg was revealed to me “its our illusion, the ideas that we are in control” not everyone likes free things, I know a few people who do not like to accept free things, they’ll rather work tirelessly to earn what is been give to others free because there is a sense of achievement and full control over what they work for. This is a ver risky state to be in spiritually, salvation is frere and not by our works, hence we do not have to pay any price or work to purchase salvation, payment has been made for it on a cross several years ago, living in this uinderstanding is all we need. Funny thing is everyone has a past, everyone has had it dirty at some point of the other, no matter how clean they look, the difference is THE UNDERSTANDING.

  If you are in Christ, you don’t have to pay any price with God… saying you have to pay the price of suffering in your present because of your past is making null and void the sacrifice of Jesus on the cross. That sacrifice was the price paid. We are debt free as long as we are in Christ.

Xoxo Busayo

   

YOU COME FIRST

Have you ever sat in a saloon and looked at the hair of your stylist and wondered? I mean they could be so skilled at what they do and you look at their hair and it’s a sorry eyesore, ever been in that position? Several times I wonder. I have often wondered why women get married and somehow they are always tired, they begin to see everything as work or duty, they pour out so much for others and severally forget to feed themselves, they never stop to say it’s okay I need to refuel myself, I was reading Bishop TD Jake’s The Lady, Her Lover and Her Lord, he also mentioned women as giving too much to the point we sometimes loose ourselves and we wear out quickly and then everything becomes like a job to us, we end up angry frustrated, and the purpose ends up being defeated anyway, because doings things grudgingly is as good as not getting the done at all.

Personally I think If you’re spending your days glamming people up, then you owe it to yourself to be glammed up.

                  

For a while I didn’t understand the reason behind attending to yourself first before helping kids or anyone. I just got to realize it isn’t selfish at all. Most times we jump to help others while we sink and die or get out of breath, needing the oxygen but trying to give someone else first. You need to give yourself enough air, before you reach out, or you will die when you try to help someone else out and neither would the person survive in most cases.

There are pastors that preach messages that restore broken homes, but their homes are in such messed up situations you’re shocked when you hear of their divorce. Same thing happens with marriage counselors etc.

Don’t be so poured out that you loose yourself. While you teach people the truth, do you still feed yourself on the truth? While you advice me on how to take the lipstick stains off their teeth, have you checked yours and brushed real good?

If you’re pouring out yourself, make sure to get fueled as well. Don’t serve gourmet meals to people, while you feast on a sandwich, because you’re too tired to whip up a meal.  It’s such a shame to have horrible hair while you style others and make their hair healthy because you’re so poured out to your job you have no time to treat yourself.

I’m not on a selfishness campaign here, I’m talking self love, the bible never said to love your neighbor above yourself it says to love your neighbor as yourself, if we pour too much of us into others that we forget to refuel ourselves we’ll faint in the end.

Xoxo Busayo

MY THOUGHTS ON RAPE AND ABUSE

My dear friend segun of youandi13.wordpress.com has been doing a series of posts on rape, it has crossed my mind a lot of times but I thought his was enough, until last night, I couldn’t find me any sleep so I decided to see a movie, I stumbled on one, it looked okay so I decided to watch, along the line a girl was raped, and her mother didn’t know until she became pregnant, when she explained all that happened to her mother, to my surprise her mother beat her to stupor and asked “how did you let it happen?” “you didn’t see anything around to hit his head?”. As soon as she said that something crossed my mind, just a word SELF CONTROL to say the least I was deeply hurt and broken as I heard her say that, the poor girl was beaten and thrown out of the house for being raped and getting pregnant.

   For a very long time when the issue of rape is brought attention immediately goes to the issue of how ladies dress and all that, ladies are the victims and are still the ones who end up being victimized, truth is although many times ladies might dress and seem to put themselves up for rape, I want to say that most times this is done not on purpose, no one at least no rational person puts themselves up to be raped, sleeping around is more convenient,  honestly speaking while I believe as ladies we ought to carry ourselves and dress decently men on the other hand ought to have self control, let’s be real, the inability of one to control oneself births a whole lot of other spirits, I mean how do we explain a man raping a 5 years old girl? Excuse me what could she have been exposing? Believe you me even if a woman drapes herself in a blanket men who lack self control would still chase her and rape her so long as the spirit in them is at work. Personally I feel we’ve overlooked the men’s issues when we discuss the issue of rape, it leaves all rape victim feeling like itd their fault they were raped, today I’m not here to point fingers or to determine who is at fault as regards the issue of rape, we can’t really determine that, can we? I’m just here expressing my own view and seeing it from the other side of the gender. Both females and males have a role to play emphasizing the role of one gender leaves the other feeling like there is nothing left for them to do; there is a lot for every gender to do.

  Just a little musing on my part tho. Lemme know your view on the above.

Xoxo Busayo

FREEDOM FROM ADDICTION I

Hello people trust you all are doing fine may we continue to be fine. In the first post in this series we considered addiction its causes and signs. Today we’ll be moving further onto steps to freedom. Addiction is something that builds overtime and unfortunately there is no “5 simple steps to freedom” on wiki how its going to take steps that are a little more inconvinencing and quite frustrating cause severally it could seem like the harder you try the less successful you are but never quit keep trying and gradually you’ll find yourself walking free. Remember its an habbit you’ve gotten used to breaking free is not easy yet its possible. So walk with me today as we go on the road to freedom.

STEP 1: ADMIT YOU ARE ADDICTED

If you read my last post in this series, I wrte a few of the signs of addiction, if you’ve recognized any pf these in you then you are most likely an addict to whatever it is you simply say you like. Now it’s the hardest thing to do tho… admitting is one very difficult thing to do, you know why it so? Because after you’ve admitted to be having a problem you’d need to find a solution to help yourself and finding a solution most times involves a lot of changes and sacrifices which maybe painful to us. So somehow its better to live in denial. However we need understand that denial does not remove the fact that the problem is there it only delays the time it would be opened. Problem is delay is not always safe as most time it would end up hitting one in the face in an embarrassing manner at that.

STEP 2: TELL SOMEBODY

After admitting the fact that you are addicted you need to tell somebody, now not just anybody, but somebody you can trust and confide in. Now this person doesn’t have to be your best friend of close friend in fact I’ve discovered that its more convenient opening up to someone who is not too close to you, the reason being your friends have known you too well and possibly didn’t know about your secret addiction and so most times when they are told tend to react wrongly. Its really not their fault most times it’s the shock of knowing. The essence of telling somebody is because “addictions thrive with secrecy”. And most times when we tell others it sorta keeps us in check… the idea that someone else knows does restrains us occasionally.

STEP 3: GET AN ACOUNTABILITY PARTNER

“What is accountability?” I hear someone ask, simply put accountability is making your weakness somebody else’s business. An accountability partner is that one person you can talk to when you are tempted or even when you’ve fallen. This is another difficult part on the step to freedom it involves you murdering your pride it entails you humbling yourself to the point of listening to someone else as regards your “personal issues”, it involves submission, an accountability partner is so many things to you, its one who keeps you in check, who prays for you, and who has an authority to call you back to order. Let me add here that once in a while they could step on your toes not because they intend to but out of love I call that THE WOUND OF LOVE it might not look so at first but you’ll realize much later it was all for the better.

STEP 4: BURN BRIDGES

A bridge is something that provides a link, connection or a means coming together. From this definition a bridge is not necessarily what one is addicted to, it involves the supply or rather the trigger points of the addiction while a bar is not the addiction the addiction is “alcohol” the bar is the bridge that connects the addict with alcohol, while a strip club is not the addiction sex is the addiction a strip club or prostitute zone is the bridge that connects  one to the addiction, once in a while the people one relates with could be the bridges that fuel addiction therefore to break free, once in a while we would need to change our friends to break free. Burning bridges involves destroying those things that lead us into temptation to fall.

I’ll be bringing a few more steps tomorrow, trust you’ll be around long enough with us. In the meantime my prayers are with you, if you want to leave a prayer point, drop it at busayokehinde81@gmail.com.

Xoxo Busayo

HOW I BECAME AN ADDICT 2

  

The first day I took the tablet I slept like a baby and for the first time I had no nightmares she supplied me for a while, however the first night without the pills I could not get me any sleep plus I started to feel like I was going into a panic, so I opened up to my new friend, she later told me that I’d need more to get sleep, I asked if she had anymore to give me, she replied in the affirmative however she help me understand that I’d need to buy for myself as i couldn’t continue to feed on hers, it was a shocker to me, I barely had enough money to take care of myself, she offered to introduce me to some guys who would help, at first I wondered what I would do for the guys to gain their help, my answer wasn’t farfetched, we met with the guys that night and they agreed to help me on the condition that I would have sex with each of them on different agreed days the idea was horrid but I thought again, I needed the pills, so I agreed to the horrid idea and started to sleep with different boys, let me point out the fact that I was only 16 at this time, I made enough money to get a steady supply of the pills until I graduated from secondary, after secondary school I decided move from my town, get a job, quit sleeping around and drop the pills, but the seed had already been sown I was addicted to drugs and sex I couldn’t stop myself I had no control over it, I couldn’t stop, I didn’t even get to work for long anywhere I was employed I was either high or caught sleeping around, I was a bitter useless person, I hated papa the more every time I was rejected society judged me from sleeping around, for taking drugs nobody cared enough. One night I was with one of the men I slept with as usual when my phone rang but I was “too busy” to pick it, the next day mama called and told me papa was dead he battled lung cancer shortly after I left the town, she pleaded with me to attend papas funeral, the look on papas face during his funeral broke my heart and for the first time I realized I was going to possibly end up like papa if I didn’t change, I decided to seek help. i got help, I talked with a Christian counselor, it was difficult at first, even after counseling I still had a lot of judgment to face, people still looked down on me. I later decided to further my education; I’m presently in my second year in the university.

NOTE: this story is not an attempt to exonerate those who battle with addiction, neither is it to over emphasize their struggle, its rather a plea to those who sit around passing judgments on those who struggle with addiction, we do not know and can’t understand where they have been through in life, we can’t understand the seeds that had been sown into their lives we only see where they are now, we do not see their hurts, show love to everyone who you meet who struggles with any form of addiction, if you can’t love them leave them never look down on them.

   Finally to those who have children or who take care of kids be careful what you do to and with them, they are very fragile but fertile soil, everything you do to them is a seed, and whatever seed is sown would germinate, the devil is ready to put manure to aid the growth of every wrong seed sown. Sow the right seed today.

Xoxo Busayo

HOW I BECAME AN ADDICT

                                               

I remember the day papa was buried like it was only yesterday, as the saxophonist played the tune amazing grace and family was asked to take a last look at him, mama was the first up she cried like never before, like he had been the greatest man she ever met, like he never did anything to hurt her, I wondered why she was pretending up until it was my turn to look, without warning the tears came, papa looked too peaceful, I’d never seen him look so calm my entire life and that day in the grave papa looked like the man i would have loved to Walk me to school, teach me my assignment and sing to me while I slept, not the man who would beat me at every slight provocation, the one who would come home drunk to stupor and beat me and mama, we’ll end up sleeping under the table most times while papa had the whole bed to himself, our little house was always messy and if mama and I decided to arrange it papa would beat us even more he’d say it was an insult, that were trying to say he was a dirty man, so we lived in our one bedroom mess, at school I was performing well so I figured most people would not know what was going on at home, on days papa belted me till I had injuries on my arms and legs, I’d wear a longer pair of socks to cover my leg injuries and cardigans for that of my arm, and when there were injuries on my face I’d lie that I  fell down at home, I figured everybody believed until one day in class a group of girls walked up to me and asked if I knew “when she cries” by Britt Nicole I felt like I had just been slapped in the face, I was hurt I was broken, the song was about a girl who was been abused, i was about to say no but the words wouldn’t come out, to my horror they started singing the song, to say I was horrified would be an understatement I stood there with tears in my eyes, whatever was left of my self esteem dropped to 0% it was like my life was over, the girls finished singing smiled at me and walked back to their seats, the next two years I had in that school were terrifying, I’d see them and walk another way, the practically controlled all about me, my teachers knew too, they’ll look at me and nod sadly, but nobody could say anything.

    My performance in the common entrance examination of that year earned me a schorlarship into one of the best and most expensive secondary schools in my town, if I had know things would turn out that way I would not have gone, on getting to the school I realized the school was for children of big men in the society who had everything they needed and wanted, most of them had all their thing custom made or imported while most of mine were just second hand products, my provision bag was not even as big as some peoples school bags, I felt so little and privileged, visiting day was everybody’s favorite day, peoples parents, siblings, cousins and even some grand parents came to see their wards in their large cars with plenty of stuff while I looked on, when my mother came she’ll come on a bike and trek into the school, she did her best for me but I felt more humiliated when she came. It gave people a glance of the life I was living I felt so little, the warse was the visiting day my father came for, he asked mt to bring out my notes book for him to see, the back cover of on of my note book was slightly torn he took off his belt and started to hit me, I screamed from the impact it drew the attention of other students as well as their parent, smh I became a show for the world to see, when he was done beating me he left the school angrily leaving me and mama alone, while he was beating me he said something about if I was a boy, it wasn’t clear to me so I asked mama about it. Mama told me that papa hadn’t always been like that, it all started when I was born she had been barren for years and papa had wanted a boy when I came, papa was angry, he stopped working and started drinking, his reason being there was no one to inherit anything he left behind, he even used to tell people he had no child even when I sat there next to him.

That visiting is one I’d live to remember, after mama left a few parents started calling on me and giving me things out of what they had brought for their children I don’t know what hurt me the most the gifts or the fact that I felt like a beggar or the pity with which people looked at me, up until I left that school people still talked about the girl that was flogged by her father in front of everybody. After the incidence one girl started to get close to me, I was grateful to have a friend at last, I had nightmares, I saw my father in them, I couldn’t sleep well at night so I opened up to her, she told me she could help, that she had a tablet which could help me sleep well, if I knew what was about to happen in my life I wouldn’t have taken the tablet but I did anyway I needed a night or two of peace and that was the beginning…………………………………………………………………………………………………

Watch out for the concluding part of “my addiction story”

AM I ADDICTED?

                                                                    

Hello people trust you all are doing well and are in good health. Honestly this is by far the most challenging series I’ve had to do ever, I didn’t even get to plan and prepare and all, but I’m one under authority and I do as I’m asked to and I trust the one who has asked me to do this would give me the grace and needed strength and would help you my readers to find freedom by the end of this series.  In todays post we’ll be introducing addiction and symptoms hope you’re blessed.

                                             What is addiction?

Addiction according to Pst Mrs funke Adetuberu addiction is a person forming an habbit and then the habbit now forms the person. Encarta dictionary defines addiction as great interest in a particular thing to which a lot of time is devoted however a definition I particularly like is “addiction is to be devoted or dedicated to an obsession or to be infantuated with or have a MANIA for a thing or person” MANIA is 

an excessive and intense interest in or enthusiasm for something While there are several things one can be addicted to I’d be focusing more on pornography, lust and sexual addictions and drug and substance addiction as well as alchol addiction. There are several causes of addictions however overtime it has been discovered that addiction is usually birthed out of a need/ desire to cope with undesirable or painful situations or losses. A lot of people battling addiction today started by using whatever it is they are addicted to in medicating pains.                                                       SIGNS OF ADDICTION There are several signs and symptoms of addictions here are some of them 1)      QUESTIONING: there is a sort of questioning within one about addiction, most time you’ll find yourself asking questions as t weather or not you are addicted, doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll admit to it, most times you’ll give yourself answers to help you believe you’re not. 2)      DEFENSIVENESS: Do you feel your defenses rise when people start to talk about whatever it is you are on, you try to give excuses for “people” who do whatever it is? Most likely there is addiction. 3)      TIME CARELESNESS: are you careless with time when involving in some activities although they are of no value to you, can you drop important and more pressing needs to perform that one particular activity, you can give up anything just to do that one activity they could also put in all their money into whatever it is without thinking about For instance a person could use the last money on them to buy recharge card to browse porn and sacrifice feeding for the day. 4)      RISK TAKING: are you willing to take risk even if there are obvious dangers involved to carry out that one particular activity? For instance you are willing to risk an STD or getting pregnant( as a female) e.t.c. to have sex with as many people as possible even without getting paid or you are willing to go through any process to get the substance without caring about its repercussion. 5)      GUILT AND SHAME: after carrying out that particular activity how do you feel? Do you feel guilty or ashamed, I’m not talking about ignoring the guilt some have grown to the point of ignoring the guilt, there is always guilt. 6)      WITHDRAWAL SYMPTOMS : gradual withdrawal comes from the guilt and shame, one begins to dislike activities they used to like before, mood related symptoms, temper tantrums, poor focus, feelings of depression and emptiness, frustration bitterness and resentment. 7)      SECRECY AND LIES: addicts are some of the world’s strongest liars, mostly because they spend time on what they are addicted to and sometimes this time would have to be accounted for to possibly an employer or colleagues hence the lies. Also they are very secretive people because most times addiction is a secret thing. 8)      ISOLATION: finally most people who are addicted to stuff have little or no friends. I like to call this “THE NOBODY LOVES ME SYNDROME” they do not feel like they are loved. Hence a whole lot of people who have addiction problems isolate themselves from people they also can’t have a good/ healthy relationship or marriage. These are not all of the symptoms there could be more, but these are the ones I’ve seen and sort of have an understanding of.             In our next post we’ll be talking about the steps to freedom, if you’ve observed any of these in yourself and you want to know how to break free keep it a date with us OBTW you can drop an email busayokehinde81@gmail.com or call 08038044814. Xoxo Busayo

RANSOMED

Hello people trust you all are doin well, I’ve been away for a while now, I’ve had a whole lot to do, I’d be introducing something new its called Ransomed, the last four years have been the toughest and most trying ones of my life bbut in the midst of my travail God gave me Isaiah 51:11, and today I’m standing because I have been ransomed.

   Ransomed is a preach initative, whereby people who have been through struggles in the past could get to share their testimonies “ransom story” to bless and encourage others who might be going through similar situations. These testimonies include those of health battles, living with the loss of a loved one, freedom from addiction, healing from abuse e.t.c and how God brought you through it all. You are free to send in your testimony anonymously to my email and I’ll have it published.

    Furthermore in the next few weeks I’d be starting a series on addiction, finding grace and freedom from addiction, I pray God would use this series to help as many people as are in need of freedom I’d be dropping the posts every Friday and Saturday. Pls do keep it a date. Plus there would also be a relationship series every Thursday. All these are gonna be stressful but he who has asked me to do them is able to supply the grace need and strength required so I have no fear what so ever.

   Finally my dear readers I’m thankful to every one of you for taking out time to read my numerous musings. I love you all plentiez and Gods blessings

OBTW if you want to send or share your ransom story my email is busayokehinde81@gmail.com you can contact me on 08038044814(pls no flashing :D)

Xoxo Busayo

GIRL YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL: THE ACT OF TAKING COMPLIMENTS

Girls have plenty of issues i know.

Often times girls have a way of taking compliments especially when it’s from the opposite sex, while some over rate them they can kill for compliments, some simply do not appreciate them. Its happened with me severally,  We do it often “ you’re out with a group of friends and this fine dude sitting across seems to be looking at you he makes his way to you and says something like you have the most beautiful hair ever and boom “he’s hitting on you’’ seriously? Where is the place of friendship he doesn’t always need to be having a crush on you to tell you what he sees. That a guy opens the door for you or helps you pick your stuff when they drop doesn’t mean anything its just simple courtesy. When a guy compliments your dress it doesn’t mean he’s looking at your body pls biko ejo nitori Jesu it’s nothing sexual, the dress is beautiful and the guy likes it lobatan! And some girls feel looked down on when guys give compliments I can really relate to that, there was a time I used to feel like a guy had to have looked down on you and felt you needed a little cheering up and that’s why he’s throwing a compliment my way(smh….. Ikr very shallow) so if you ever passed a compliment my way I’d be very angry at you.

   However overtime I’ve realized my realized most of the time all these are things I just imagined: they don’t really exist. But the one thing I’ve realized Is the reason why we take compliment so often times is because we do not give honest compliments ourselves or because we look down on ourselves so we can’t understand why someone else would say we’re beautiful or be good to us, or we live based on the approval of people. Here are a few things I’ve done and have helped overtime

11)  I’ve learnt to give out honest compliments to everyone around me. I remember to say things like you look beautiful, your hair is nice, e.t.c and things like I love you. I’m honored to be your friends e.t.c

22) Always give yourself a compliment, everyday look into your mirror smile at you and tell yourself you’re beautiful say amazing things about yourself to yourself gradually you’ll get to believe what you say. While people might see this and think you’re just too self occupied its better than looking down on yourself.

33) Don’t try to look for approval from people. You wont always get it.

So here dear girls you’re beautiful, your dress is lovely and you have the cutest smile ever and before I forget I love you.

xoxo Busayo 

100 THINGS ABOUT ME

Hello people heres a hundred things you all didnt know about me, theres more but but we'll limit ourselves to 100 hope you like it.....Enjoy

100) I do not like doctors or hospitals

99) I don’t like the idea of school but I hate to fail at anything I do that why I read

98) I can be really funny

97) Writing is the only creative thing I think I’m good at

96) I’m 5.9’’

95) I’m very skinny and lanky

94) I eat a lot (but I don’t know why I’m still skinny)

93) I love to cook

92) I’m the second born

91) I have three siblings

90) I love my family

89) I don’t like people who feel they have a right to talk to me and its my obligation to listen (like speak…………..you own your mouth and not my ears)

88) I could be a good counselor if you have a reasonable problem

87) I could be a romantic person

86) I’m not the sweetheart kind of person

85) If I like you I really do I don’t care what people think about you

84) If I don’t like you no nice thing you do will make me like you (dats why I try never to hate)

83) I love to read novels

82) I prefer books to people

81) I talk to a lot of people however I have only a few friends

80) The moment you start to say negative things about people I start to move away from you.

79) I dislike people who gossip

78) I love to dance

77) I’m a very shy person

76) if you never know me in person you’ll think I’m proud

75) Most people dislike me because of the way I walk

74) I walk like a model (that’s what people say)

73) I act and talk likes a boss

72) When I’m shy I like to hold on to my hair

71) My favorite outfits are all dresses I do not like skirts, shirts or trousers (its too much work)

70) I don’t like people who make my weight their issue(weather I’m skinny or fat its my issue)

69) I have a quick crush on every tall, fine and clean boy I see for like 5 minutes

68) Unintelligent fine boys just break my heart (wasted finesss innit)

67) Every time I see a fine boy my first prayer is ‘’Lord don’t let this one be gay too’’ (ehn ehn you can’t be too sure)

66) Most times I reply a text in my head and forget to actually send a reply.

65) I could be really carefree once in a while

64) I’m not a snob

63) If you speak and I don’t answer I honestly didn’t hear you

62) I could be very emotional (very rearly tho)

61) I’m not a very careful person

60) Sometimes I act very irrationally

59) I cant stand dogs or cats no matter how cute they are

58) I’m prone to depression that’s why I avoid negative people

57) I hate to prove people right over me

56) I’ve had 5 surgeries in one year

55) I hate people pitying me

54) I used to be asthmatic

53) I love music

52) I used to love and participate in poetry as a child

51) English used to be my favorite subject when I was younger

50) I love hymns (weird huh)

49) I love people praying and singing in Yoruba I feel like it gets to God faster when its done in Yoruba (but I really cant speak Yoruba sha)

48) I do not like to make promises; I’d rather say “I’ll try”

47) I forget about people and things too quickly

46) I have a very sensitive skin, if I’m held tightly by the hand it would leave marks on my hand

45) I’ve never been in a sensible relationship

44) I don’t talk to any of my past partners (eh nehn what is there to talk about)

43) I love Jamie Grace

42) I do not hate anybody

41) I have trust issues

40) I don’t always talk when my opinion is sought except occasionally

39) Most of my friends are older than I am

38) I feel very secure whenever I’m in church

37) I asked Jesus into my heart first when I was 10

36) I’m a person of absolutes its either white or black I hate grey

35) You can never successfully guess what I’m thinking except I tell you

34) I once wanted to be a doctor a neurosurgeon at that (ehn ehn na they born me I must become a doctor)

33) My parents wanted me to become an electrical engineer

32) most of the things I can do I was never taught, I just hear about stuff, think about stuff or maybe read a little about it and try and if I get hooked I’ll try again using another method until I fail all round and conclude its impossible or I succeed

31) Once I lose interest in an activity, I rarely ever go back to them

30) Once I make up my mind on what to do I’ll do it. Except God does not allow it

29) I could be annoying though not on purpose, but if I am joking and people begin to parah it just makes me more excited

28) I’ve never gotten into and I would never get into a twit fight or face book fight, it’s just hopeless, I think face book and twitter just gives stupid people a platform to display it.

27) I was once hooked on sleeping pills

26) I totally love children especially those who do not cry

25) I love taking pictures

24) My birthday is 25^th April

23) I love to know something about everything, even though I can’t know everything

22) When people try to intimidate I could talk and leave you confused about yourself

21) I tend to think a lot

20) If left to myself I would worry about even things that do not concern me

19) When I get to heaven I have a lot off gist for Jesus

18) I’m crazy about Jesus

17) I’m a fighter

16) I’ve been ransomed

15) I love my bible

14) most times when I pray I do not stop until I feel light

13) I used to have a very short temper while I was younger

12) I wanted to be in a relationship onetime because I needed somebody to get annoyed at randomly (smh abi guys have suffered ehn)

11) I have several parents

10) I dislike clingy people

9) I love psalm 30:5

8) I love all my friends

7) I love my family

6) I do not criticize people, I could laugh at people but I cant criticize

5) I try my best not to look down on people

4) My names are Oluwabusayo Opeyemi Oluwapelumi Kehinde

3) Google and Microsoft always underline both my name and surname as a spelling error

2) I bleed grace and I love to tell everybody about the grace of God

1) I love God the author and finisher of my life, the one who knew me before I was formed

PAIN

Pain would come at some point in our lives, from the death of a friend the one you’d planned your future with, to the loss of a family member, to a devastating medical report, hurt is inevitable it will come and truth is we cannot even successfully guard ourselves from hurt and pain, however while pain cannot be avoided its highly necessary we allow ourselves to heal and not just heal but heal rightly, sometime I read about Jake, while he was much younger he used to play football onetime he fell and his some bones in his legs were broken but because he didn’t want to give up that football session he decided not to let anyone know and continued to manage the leg however soon it “healed up” sometime later he started having problems with the leg and was taken to the hospital the scan showed that the bones that broke earlier had healed but not in the right position, hence the only way out was to break the bones and re-arrange it again. As I read this story I knew one day I’ld have to do a write up on it, how many of us have gone through painful situations and allowed our heart to heal rightly, how many of us have really been healed from the pain we suffered as a result of the death of those we loved, heartbreak, abuse and molestation, name it…… a number of us think we have healed because we don’t think about it daily, the truth is we could cover pain but whatever is covered will have to be opened one day, pain comes to toughen us up and not harden us.

     When we fail to allow ourselves heal naturally the likelihood of addiction is there as we’ll need things to keep our minds away from our pains hence drug and substance addiction, pornography addiction, even addiction to food, a whole lot of others develop terrible tempers as a result of pain others won’t understand, we wonder how when some people we used to know to be darling and sweet suddenly become so hard and wild after the death of a loved one or something else it’s just a mechanism of trying to heal on our own.

   You are probably already wondering why we wont allow ourselves heal after we are hurt? The truth is healing involves grieving it involves crying and letting it all out and we do not want to grieve for long we just want to skip the grieving part and arrive at the “I’m good, I’m fine, its all God’s will part’’ the truth is there is protocol there is a steady progression of event we cant skip, and No I do not mean or expect that you’ll turn yourself into a cry baby, all I mean is ther are times all you want to do is sit and cry about what or who was lost at such time s just let the tears flow you don’t always have to be in control of it all, and gradually slowly, steadily we’ll see less need to grieve and soon we’ll be out of our grieve and our heart would still be normal, when we do not grieve and the feeling comes we’ll need something to do to prevent our selves from crying hence addiction or transfer of aggression to anyone or thing near us.

   Furthermore apart from grieving sometimes we need to talk with someone who you could trust about your fears and insecurities as regards what has happened, a lot of times talking would actually help and once in a while we’ll discover we’re not even alone there could be others like you and that would encourage us also.

     Finally and most importantly we need to pray, tell all your hurts, pains and fears to the man on top the Big G, he hears and cares so much about you he has all the answers you need, he understands all you are going through and most of all his word says he is the Great Healer, talking to him would feel so good plus being the Great Healer, he Heal you totally, completely and rightly.

Xoxo Busayo

  

WE WON’T ALWAYS UNDERSTAND

                                                     

Hey people its been sooooooo long I did anything on here. Thanks to my school and when I got back from school my sinuses got real full its been a struggle any way I thank God for his workings its really been him. Thanks to everyone who sent a message or contacted me one way or the other as per my blog I missed you and I’m glad to be back. Oya now to the issue

    As a child I always wanted to know why anything happened, why anybody says whatever they say, why people act the way they do, why? why? why? I just had to know why. Once in a while when I ask my mum would answer me but occasionally when I asked some questions the look in my mother’s eyes would say “ma fun e ni igbati omo yi” lol translated as “I’d give you a slap this child”, and she’ll simply tell me shut up or don’t question me. Your smiling now bcos you also did it innit?
   Two days ago I read about opeyemi odusanya, the Bowen university student who was killed, I tell you I started to ask some questions, why did they have to kill her, why didn’t God have her survive the stab no matter how terrible it was she didn’t do nothing wrong, the trauma of abuse woulda been too much dats why she fought why didn’t she win the fight, why was there nobody around at the time, why did she have to go and buy credit? Why? Why? Why?...... the year Dana plane crashed I had a lot of whys why did God allow a whole family to board that plane?, why did beautiful kunbi Adebiyi who loved him and was going to transform the world have to be on board?, why did intelligent Awyetu Hope wasa decide to write CU’s post ume she wasn’t even going there anyway?, why did my friend zuggy decide to take Cu’s post ume he was obviously not going there either?, why did 153 people have to be on that plane?  When things happen we question ourselves our superiors, our leaders and worse we question God. I ask myself who do I think God is? Some wicked overlord who sits up there an sees evil befall us and smile? NO he’s not. He could not have created us and not love us, he loved us enough to send the only son he had to die in our place and to wash us that we might live free that we might escape corruption. And when his son said “it is finished” on the cross he really meant it. I really can’t explain why evil happens and I don’t have to give a perfect explanation as to why things happen.. I’ll just hold on to God’s word that his ways are not my ways and his thoughts are not mine.

  My dear friends and readers I was working on another post for today but this came stronger and so I had to do it. I don’t understand why I had to be ill and go through so much pain in the last few years, but even without my understanding of all of these here’s one thing I can tell you is God is always king and yes he is always in control even when we can’t seem to understand. No matter what comes into your life suddenly and seems to rock it backward and forward at the same time, remember “we won’t always understand” but that never stops him for being God, hold on to psalm 30:5 Joy would always come in the morning, and when it doesn’t look like the morning of joy would come trust a little more “for he honors his word”.

RIP Opeyemi Odusanya, Kunbi Adebiyi, Hope Wasa, Zuggie nd all Dana 153……… u are loved and missed.

Xoxo Busayo