CHEERS TO 19

My dearest me,
                         Where has the years gone? Hunnie this is honestly the only question that rings in my mind each time I’m drawn to the fact that in a few days you’ll be 19. I’m amazed at how many years have gone by and they seem like only a few years.
       Has it really been about 13 years ago since that afternoon that forever killed a part of you; has it really being that long you got caught up not knowing who you are and what you were created for and so you lived like it didn’t matter? Has it really been that long ago you turned away from the God who loved you and gave himself for you all because you wanted to fit in; you rebelled but even in your rebellion you never did fit in, you never actually fit in and would never because you are not created to fit in, you are meant to stand out you weren’t created with the normal mould the king formed you himself, so even in the midst of rebels you found a way to stand out. Has it been all that long you turned to addictions because you were lonely?
      Wasn’t it only a few weeks ago you took ill and nearly lost your life? oh it’s been almost four years ago already, where are the years gone? Five surgeries no improvement, depression and pain...
       It’s already a year ago since you decide to put your heart up and fall in love thinking HE was THE ONE, only to realize he wasn’t and then you went into depression, eating addiction and then fear of loneliness and then gradually you came to realize you’ve never been and would never be alone; only your life would be marked by a certain solitude that may leave you feeling set apart; but hunnie you’re set apart; set apart by God for his own glory.
       It’s almost two years since you started pouring your pain into your writing and sharing with all who need to know that they were never alone. Talk about good coming out of a bad situation it’s in the blog, it’s in the lives touched, the hearts healed the lessons learned and the new friendships formed. When people say you inspire them I smile knowing you inspire me too always.
      It’s amazing how the years has gone by, 18 years and it’s amazing the lady you’ve become and the woman you’re gradually turning into, the very weakness and pain in your life that made you feel disadvantaged have become your greatest assets because in your weakness has God imputed his mighty strength that none should boast, its beautiful how you've come to love and crave Jesus...
     I’m so proud of you and who you’ve become and who you’re becoming; I thank God each day for the opportunity to be you. You’re a blessing and your life is a testimony of God’s grace, love and mercy and how he picks nothingness and makes into something great... I couldn’t and wouldn’t even want to be anyone else but you. Here’s a cheers to 18 years behind and a cheers to a new year. Happy birthday my number one woman crush everyday! I love you forever. Blessings.
                                                                                                                                Packed with love,
                                                                                                                                 Busayo kehinde(ME)
NOTE: By Saturday the 25th April, my 18th year would be officially behind me and my 19th year would officially begin, this letter is my own way of celebrating myself however I’m sharing it because in it lies answers to question some of you have in your heart. I hope the letter blesses you and if you’re not into this you should totally begin to celebrate yourself because there is no human that can do it better for you. Oh and from Saturday according to my friends I’m officially ripe for marriage.. lol uhm I’m accepting applications now (yinmu na play o)…..
Love
Busayo Kehinde

MY LATEST FAVOURITE

Hurry up and come back,
Was the last thing she said to her son
The day his life was taken
She didn’t know he wouldn’t come back
He died from the bullet of a gun
And now her baby’s gone
She said help me
Lord help me
And when she looked up to the sky
She heard a voice reply
“When you cry I cry
I cry along with you.
When you smile I smile
I smile along with you……”
This song is one I learnt way back from junior school, I used to be in the choir at the time, and we sang this song but not once did it ever minister to me the way it did recently. I was having one of those moments when I was reflecting on life when from my spirit I heard the words of Matthew 27:46 which was followed by John 11:35, in Matthew 27:46 Jesus cried out to the father on the cross he said “father why has thou forsaken me” don’t you feel forsaken by God most times I mean days you sit and its like God has totally turned his back on you, day you look at the sun and it doesn’t even seem to be shining and it looks like God is too busy, it looks like you’re forsaken let the hope lie in the fact that Jesus felt same way too, sometimes things get so hurtful and you just want to weep please feel free to weep Jesus himself wept, but in the midst of all these feelings remember that even after Jesus screamed out because he felt forsaken the father came through for him… let this cause joy in your heart “we have a high priest who is not out of touch with our reality” and not matter how forsaken you feel no matter how you’ve felt forsaken and possibly screamed our your heart to the father know that just as he came through for Jesus he’ll come through for you… he felt it that when you feel it you’ll gain strength knowing you’re not alone, never have you and never would you be alone because when you cry he cries along with you.
Packed with Love
Busayo

MY ENCOUNTER WITH DEPRESSION

 
     Hey happy Friday y’all it’s been a long week for me, I hope y’all enjoyed your week, I pray you have the most amazing weekend beginning today. I started off a little sharing on depression, my experience and winning today I’m sharing my second lesson on depression.
LESSON 2:
    Depression often comes from lies, depression sometimes is simply as a result of dishonesty, the lies we tell ourselves, the lies we tell against others, and the times we aren’t honest with God. Some of us lie to ourselves simply by telling ourselves the wrong we do isn’t really wrong, but more than that is the lies we tell ourselves about others and about God. I’ll explain better; Once someone said something to me now I interpreted his word in my own way and acted based on what I told myself he was saying, when things became really hard on me and I knew I was slipping into a terrible state of depression and I couldn’t even say why, I started to blame it on him for what he said, I told myself “it was because he said this, I acted this way and now I’m depressed, it’s all his fault, I hate him, I wish I’d never met him and all”.  But when I sat and thought it all over, from the first time he never said all I had been saying he said, maybe he said something but not what I’m saying he said. On another note some of us tell ourselves lies about God, we all know that sin has a way of stealing our Joy and bringing about depression, now some of us sin and then quote Romans 6:1 and interpret it to ourselves that Grace cannot abound for us anymore so we continue in our sin anyway much as we know the truth for some reason we just keep up with our sin and lie against God to have someone to blame when things come tumbling against us.. Dishonesty fuels depression in so many ways.. Until we get honest we may never overcome depression, first we have to be honest with God let him know you’re sorry for living a fake life/ a deceit filled life, second we need to be honest with ourselves; we need to let the truth breakdown the walls our lies have built, we need to honestly own our actions and stop trying to get a convenient scapegoat to blame for our actions… if you want to muse as y’all know I’m always a message away busayokehinde81@gmail.com
LOVE
BUSAYO

ALL FOR ME

    Hello trust you all are doing considerably well, I started a series on depression last week and I’ll be rounding it up this week, but today I’ll be writing on something else tho… hope someone is able to pick up a lesson or two from it.
   My bible study this month has been one of the most interesting ones for me, I’m presently on the book of exodus, I’ve seen (lol yeah I actually see the characters) the children of Israel see the hand of God move mightily in their midst yet time and again, they get to points and they believe Egypt was better for them, much as they were in bondage in Egypt much as they suffered they still had times when Egypt seemed better.
      Let’s bring it to our Christian lives today, has anyone ever felt like their life outside God was much better? I don’t know about you but I have those days, there are some days I want to do stuff but then I remember I’m a Christian and I cannot so I stop but silly at it seems it annoys me when that happens, for instance on days when I have to battle with my demons (sin) and I feel like I may even die if I do not sin but I love the lord too much to sin so I struggle I force myself to sleep even if I don’t want to, I may even decide to start working just to keep my mind of the sin that keeps calling me back, honestly on such days I feel like before I came into Christ I was better because then it wasn’t a struggle sin was a way of life and I always drowned the guilt in more sin I barely had time to feel guilty and all. On days like this I start to think life outside Christ was better, for someone else it’s when you’re broke you start to think so, I mean before you were saved you had many men in your life who’ll have sex with you and answer to your every need and now you can’t do that again and now cash is tight..
     I used to wonder why I felt so, I always looked at the children of Israel as ingrates until lately I got fresh understanding, we don’t feel that way because we’re ingrates, we do that because we don’t really understand things; we sometimes feel like God is just using us to bring glory to himself and he doesn’t really care about us and that’s why we feel that way. Until we come to a point of understanding that everything God does is for the good to us, we would always look out, I’ve had to take some time to understand that God loves means that everything he says is for my good, he saved me not for his own good but for my own gain, he gave his son for me not so I’ll thank him but because he cares for me too much to leave me under the curse of the law. That is what happened with the Israelites they had no understanding of the fact that they were saved for themselves, they possibly felt they were saved for Moses or something like that. If we understand this even when things are wrong or when we have to struggle we’ll fight knowing that it’s all for our good and not for the Kings gain. Now I know I don’t resist temptation for Gods good I resist for my own benefit.
Love
Busayo

MISH'S THOUGHTS

       I’ve written on faith and being personal I’ve shared on how I left my inhaler at the altar hoping for healing and came down with an attack that almost claimed my life a few hours after dropping my inhaler. I’m always amazed when people say its lack of faith that makes me keep an inhaler in my purse but not just that, it’s funny how people get all preachy with me when they find out I’m asthmatic, It’s a struggle to keep mute and listen to them and not scream out at them “I’m a Christian, maybe I have a condition but it’s not my portion”.
        Last year I had the most embarrassing experience, I had attacks twice in a row back to back and there was this particular guy who happened to see me every time I was admitted, a few weeks later I was discharged I met this guy somewhere and he was with company oh well I stopped by to say hello, while I was with him he teased a little about my health and the person with him heard and like that ohh myyyyyyyy things just got spiritual, I had to stand there and take sermon about how he hasn’t been ill before how I didn’t have faith, plenty things about drugs and all….. Time and again in the little time I’ve spent with my health condition I’ve tried to get people to understand this, taking drugs, sticking to certain guidelines doesn’t mean you don’t have faith, in some ways deciding to take pills shows you have faith enough to put up a fight against whatever infirmity that tries to take a hold of you and wait to see what the lord has planned. Don’t get me wrong I believe in divine healing, and I know it is possible to be healed without drugs, but has it ever occurred to you that God has plans for us, good plans to be precise, but the plans he has for us is individual, even though he refers to us as one, meaning someone else getting healed without drugs doesn’t mean it’s going to be same for others, until we understand this, until we consult the lord and know his plans for us we’ll just spend our lives trying to fit into Gods plans for others.. What am I saying in essence? if you have issues, maybe health troubles, maybe you’re battling depression whatever it is, don’t even allow anyone make you feel any less of a Christian for seeking professional help. I like to believe doctors in some ways are an answer to our prayers. I know God is the healer however I also know he uses doctors too. If I’ll be honest I’d love it if I’m healed just by God but then again if he desires I go through the doctors I know he’s got me, I know his plans for me are good so I have no fear. People think Christians shouldn’t battle hard times or dark times and if they come its lack of faith, sin or inadequate prayers that’s the cause.. I wonder how may Christians are battling little issue that simple medications, simple dietry adjustment can handle or the number who have died without reasons.
The main issue we need to understand is this; our faith can help us through the valley, but it doesn’t always give us a way around the valley.. Sometimes in addition to faith action is needed.
Love
Busayo

ON DEPRESSION AND ME 1

Oh I know I’m by far the laziest blogger y’all know, thanks for sticking with me anyway. If you or someone you know is battling depression this post id for you, its not actually a remedy some depression may be due to chemical imbalance in the body and drugs are needed for that. Let me quickly say here that even a Christian can be depressed and need  drugs its not a sin nor because you don’t pray enough don’t let anyone look down on you because you’re a Christian and you are depressed (this is a topic for another day)…..
LESSON 1
Depression often starts wits distraction, Distraction is when we take our eyes off Jesus and allow ourselves to lead as opposed to Christ leading….. I battled depression because I awoke love too early in my life but I didn’t just awake love like that I first got distracted from God and started looking to the person I claimed to love and because my eyes were focused on him I couldn’t see clearly, I stopped listening to the holy spirit’s prompt and started following the prompting of self, the spirit warned me through scriptures and even people, but self was too stubborn to heed. Now when self leads there is only so much you can achieve  and when you try to get all you want in the flesh and you can’t seem to achieve all you want discouragement sets in; when I tried all I could to get the love I so wanted and I couldn’t I became very discouraged and a little insecure. With discouragement already in the system depression isn’t farfetched. As soon as I became discouraged if I had talked about it or not try to cover it with solitary addiction like food maybe I wouldn’t have gotten depressed, from discouragement we finally crawl into our shell, avoid people and all, and that is the point of depression…
Note please that not everyone gets into depression this way, in my next post I’ll share another way I fell into depression, now if you’re battling depression or even discouragement check your life, is your eyes on God are you still being led by the spirit of God, if you see where you missed it run back to Jesus, let him heal you and help you. In the meantime if you want to share or need a muse I’m always a message away busayokehinde81@gmail.com or 08038044814.
Love and prayers
Busayo Kehinde