HAPPY NEW YEAR

Today i have nothing to say to you my dear readers other than to welcome you into the year 2014 and thank you for your love and support in 2013, i pray for you all that you and your families would overflow with the blessings of the king. God bless you all. HAPPY NEW YEAR.

MUSIC

     Sometime ago I wrote a note on face book about the right hooks and all, and it was well received so I was sure that was going to be the last I was going to write as regards music, but today I feel it in my spirit to share this with you my dear readers hope you are blessed.

     I know a lot of Christians or just people who love God yet on their music players, phones and other devices they have both a combination of gospel and secular music. I know what you are thinking now  “not all secular music is bad and talk about sex are you now saying we should not listen to even the one that do not depict sex?”  My answer to that is and would always be NO big fat NO. we have to realize that we are a product of what we listen to. Whatever we sing or listen to should glorify God, if it doesn’t glorify the true God it glorifies the devil or any counterfeit god of ours.

  Have you ever listened to a song, I mean audio music, and shortly afterwards a video is made, its not uncommon to hear people say the video does not go well with the song or this is not the right video e.t.c and I wonder never has a video been released for this song how do you know this is not how the video is meant to be. The answer is simple we are visual beings, and every word we hear is transformed into pictures in our mind, so when we listen to music the lyrics create pictures in our minds and as the beats and lyrics come together our minds create videos for the song, that is why most times when the videos are released we are not satisfied because it does not co-relate to our minds video. For this reason we ought to watch what we listen to, because after a while our minds begin to tilt towards what constantly fills it so if secular music fills it gradually we begin acting, living and being like the music we listen to.

   Furthermore I personally believe that when you sing or dance to music they should be two major purposes, to praise and to uplift one what do I mean? When I sing a song it should be to praise God this has to do with being thankful, making a request, etcetera. Whereas by up lifting I mean to encourage or give us hope when we are cast down, depressed or discouraged and not for entertainment only, if music only entertains you only I wonder the purpose, entertainment births happiness which is just for that period, while real music should not just entertain or birth happiness but joy which does not depend on the time being but stays in all circumstances. Furthermore when music is to praise it gives power, we need to realize that the power of our gods towards us is dependent on the amount of praise we give to them meaning every time we sing songs that glorifies our counterfeit gods we give them power.

     Finally the spirit behind most songs we listen to is unknown and that’s is like the most important, as the spiritual controls the physical, a lot of secular music even though they don’t promote sex choke, and even kills the spirit of God in us, gradually, slowly the spirit of God would die in us as we keep up our ungodly music, because the spirit we feed is the one that would live and two spirits can’t work in us, and the spirit of God is really delicate, it can’t operate next to another spirit, our God is a jealous God he can’t be spirit 2, he has to be the one and only operational spirit in our lives.

   However my dear readers and friends these are just my thoughts, I really need to know your thoughts on this issue. Feel free to post your comments and question on any point of mine that is not clear to you. Have an amazing day. I love you all and I’m praying we all cross over beautifully into 2014. See you there.

xoxo Busayo

I’M SORRY: THE END OF THE WAR

                                          

Happy Sunday my dear amazing readers I’m totally sorry I’ve not been posting stuff like I ought to I really don’t have an excuse but I trust my post for today would bless your life.

     Its that time of the month, it’s actually one of my hardest moment every month, I feel heavy, fat, sick, irritable not to even talk of the pimples on my face, I’m really hungry but the sigh and smell of food totally nauseates me, I want everybody around me, and I don’t want anybody around me at the same time, the sights and sound of people telling me sorry even doubles my pain, I want to have my bath but I don’t want water to touch my body and no I’m not crazy it’s just that it’s my time of the month, I don’t have control over my temper or emotions doctors refer to it as PMS but for me it’s simply “my time in the month” my time of frustrations, anger and plenty of conflicting emotions. It was Tola’s birthday and I’d promised to go out with her but in my condition I couldn’t make it again so I had to text her to inform her, much to my surprise few minutes after I sent the text Tola was in my room going all mummy on me, taking care of me and putting my space in order she even took the pains of going out to get food for me, and even boiled water for me to have my bath, then it happened. As she was pouring the water from the kettle a little spilled on the floor I didn’t say anything  then however after I had my bath and came into the room I still met the water on the floor I got really irritated and started nagging at her about how scruffy, childish and lazy she was, how she couldn’t even keep a place together just after I finished yelling at her I realized what I had done I HAD JUST PMS’D ON A FRIEND WHO HAD ABANDONED HER BIRTHDAY OUTING TO STAY WITH ME but that was just a little thing as compared with the hurt I saw on her face, it was unlike anything I had ever seen. In that moment I know I should have said I was sorry but my pride kept me quiet or rather I felt we were friends we were going to sort out ourselves somehow. She stayed with me for the rest of the day it was worse than I expected I’d talk to her and she’ll answer like nothing happened so I thought it was over and at night before she left I gave her the present I made for her-a beautiful handmade wire work neck piece she was so thankful and left and we continued our friendship normally and to me that was the end of it all. It was until one morning two weeks after the incidence I went to her room to call her, I had a bottle of water in my hand, I got there and she was not ready so I sat to wait for her, while I waited I got thirsty so I opened my bottle of water to drink as I was drinking it her roommate came in a hurry to pick something and as she was walking through she hit me and a little water spilled on the floor and surprisingly Tola did make a comment she was like if water pours on my floor she’s childish and unorganized but when I the most organized madam pours it on her floor it’s an accident. And for the first time I realized that she hadn’t forgotten and she was still upset and I never said sorry to her.

      I know some of you my dear readers can relate to this, it’s not only when you are PMSing, at least boys don’t have PMS but they do it we value our alter ego than the people in our lives, for me I didn’t realize how much closure the simple word sorry can bring, there are a lot of times I’ve had disagreements with people and just because I couldn’t say sorry malice erupted. Over time I hated saying sorry first to any one because I felt it would look like I loved the person so much and could not imagine offending them, other times I felt it would mean admitting I’m wrong even though sometimes I’m not wrong.

and she cant even say sorry

However the truth is saying sorry doesn’t reduce you in any way, it only shows you’re strong, strong enough to take the first step, strong enough to control your ego and apologize and not allow your ego to stop you from making amends, it means you’re strong enough you’ve overcome pride enough to come down and apologize, and like I always tell my friends when they have issues with people, apologizing always makes you the better person.

   I realized something every time we offend someone we know weather of not their expressions say it however we have two options; first is to apologize immediately or the second is to pretend it didn’t happen and continue things normally. We need to understand that none of the two options change what has happened, the first is to bring closure to the issue i.e. end the issue, while the second is tantamount to either postponing the closure or a lifelong malice. So what the point? The first it the voice of humility (the voice of truth) the second is that of pride (the voice that led Satan into hell) so like Joshua said in the bible I say in my own words, choose today what you’ll do about issues you’ve left like that. Have an amazing Sunday.

PS: I just had to add this quick note, I finished this write up early hours but for some reasons I could not publish it before I went to church and just as I got to church during Sunday school the topic was anger, and most of the issues raised related to this article, plus I realized that my topic was the right one. I was told that one of the world wars was as a result of someone’s refusal to say sorry smh….it’s all good just thought y’all should know.

Xoxo Busayo

COUNTERFEIT GODS

COUNTERFEIT GODS

Merry Christmas all its been a while I wrote on here  and really I’ve missed writing its just a lot of other things came up that took my attention however it’s good to be back and as the year draws to an end I think its about time to take stock an really know whether or not we really are serving God and by God I mean the real BIG G hope you are blessed by this piece.

and no by bowing to a god this is not what i mean

    What’s on your throne? What do you actually bow down to? Yea when I say bow down I don’t mean in actual sense, the question is what are u chasing so u don’t feel alone? A lot of us can’t honestly answer that question because really the things we chase we can’t just refer to them as our God, for instance how do we expect an alcoholic to refer to alcohol as his God or a drug addict to refer to drugs as his God, the counterfeit Gods are just things or people we can’t really acknowledge as our Gods, for some of us our partners are our Gods we can give up anything just to spend some time with them when I say anything I really mean anything, for others it’s our possessions and that’s actually like the worse it really beats my imagination how we buy stuff with our own money and then the stuff that supposed to serve us suddenly becomes our god, it’s not uncommon to hear people rant about their car and how much it cost and be treating their car like it’s human and several examples I could give, and no not only those who worship in shrines worship counterfeit gods, by the way who even goes into shrines these days that’s way too stressful joor. A God is what/who u give ultimate worth and what/who if taken will bring ultimate sadness. A God is who or whatever is supreme in your life.

THE WHOLE CAR ISH

  The bible in tells us that God is able to do exceedingly abundantly more than we can ask or think according to the power that works in us… I don’t know what else you all have picked from that scripture but here is what it tells  me, this elaboration on the verse was done by a friend here is what he said from the last phrase in that verse we can understand that there is power locked up in us and as it is we are stores of power, and every time we bow we release power to our Gods, that why after worshiping a person or a thing for while we eventually trade totally our power to our lords and soon our lives actually begin to depend on those things/people. Its Christmas today while we are celebrating some are actually busy celebrating their own Gods without even knowing.

   How do you know what has become your God? It’s a simple thing search yourselves whatever you own that you can’t give up if we’ll be real actually owns you and that your God.

LESSONS FROM LIFE

Merry Christmas and happy New Year in advance everyone, the year is quickly coming to an end and as we end this year I thought I could drop this little something, this is my seventeenth Christmas on earth and the year 2014 would make it my 18^th year on earth. In all the years I’ve spent I’ve learnt a lot of things, especially last year when I had to undergo 5 surgeries, and in the midst of it all I’ve learnt a lot. so today I’m sharing 22 things I’ve learnt from life, I hope you don’t just enjoy them but learn one or two things you’ll love to take into the new year. Here they are;

 1) THERE IS A GOD: I’ve always known that there is a God and that yes he is real, but more than anything else I we need just a reminder that there is a God and no he is no man.

2)  BE OPEN TO YOUR DREAMS: 3^rd June last year I lost a friend it only made me realize how short life is, and how many of my dreams I’ve failed to embrace hoping it’ll come up again sometime in future, however June 3^rd taught me to be open to my dreams as our mortal journey is over all too soon.

3) DON’T SHARE YOUR DREAMS WITH EVERYONE: I learnt this from pastor TD Jakes, he said not to share your dreams with everyone, as not everyone has your interest at heart, take the biblical example Joseph even his own brothers became envious because he shared his dream with them to the extent of selling him beware of discouragers, and dream killers my pastor would also say beware of old prophets.

4) SEPERATION: it’s not everybody we start our life with or even grow up with or have been moving together with we would move ahead with, the farthest some people in our lives can come with us is where we already are, to move forward we need to let go of some people in our lives, some people we still move with are the reasons why we don’t move forward. In the bible even Abraham had to separate from Lot before God’s promises for him came to pass.

5) WE WONT ALWAYS UNDERSTAND GOD: faith is foolishness to the ordinary man, Gods ways are always higher than our ways, as such we won’t always understand his ways and instructions, however one thing is sure if God has said it then it will be so, we don’t need understanding to obey God’s instructions we need obedience to understand God Abraham obeyed God without understanding why God will ask for his only son.

6) YOU CANT BE FRIENDS WITH EVERYBODY: I’m not saying you can’t be nice to everybody I’m saying it’s not everybody that can be your friends, you need to choose people whose life you add value to and those who add value to you to be friends with, association determines how further you can go and the way you go. No one is above influence; the wrong friends would only influence you negatively.

7) FAMILY IS IMPORTANT : I had a conversation with a friend and there was something she said that stuck, she said there comes a time in our life when we look to the heavens and the sun, the moon, the stars won’t even be able to reassure us that God is there, we look around un and nothing seems to tell you that there is God, it’s for seasons like that God gave us family, their presence most times would reassure us that there is always God I personally faced one of such seasons recently and today I’m thankful for family.

8) WE ALL ARE DIFFERENT: while I don’t mean to be insulting, some people could be basically described as plain stupid, I mean chronic stupidity, while we tend to get annoyed at such people I realized that we really are just different while some people could find such stupidity amusing I find it plain annoying. However we all cannot be same, we also all have different experiences in our lives that shaped us, so we can’t do things or think the same way.

9) MAKE ALLOWANCE FOR OTHERS: while we are different from others, we need to also make allowances for others, who may hurt or offend us by the way they do things or something else. Something I can’t stand is strong stupidity or when people I do not expect to do some things do them, but now after being surprised and annoyed a lot of times I realize that I need to make allowance for people to do less than I expect or  to exhibit their stupidity and not be annoyed or surprised.

10) GUARD YOUR TOUNGE:  life and death truly are in the power of the tongue, plus people really remember what you say, be watchful what you say, especially in a moment of weakness.

11) JOY INDEED COMES IN THE MORNING: last year I had a lot of dark nights I had 5 surgeries within February and September but at the end of it all I’m here hale and hearty even writing about it, joy indeed comes in the morning.

12) FEAR CAN TRULY HINDER YOU FROM LIVING: shortly after my surgery I struggled with fear, I was just so scared that something else could happen to me it affected me so much that ridiculous as this may seem I started sleeping in my mom’s room (it’s just a year ago so I wasn’t a kid). It really hindered me from living as once evening started approaching I became scared and could not really do anything my life was on pause as from 5pm.

13) PRAYER CHANGES THINGS: in all I went through the turning point came in the midst of prayer, truly prayer does change things.

14)  MUSIC IS TRULY A BALM TO THE SOUL: yes music is really a balm to the soul, however the right kind of music is what I’m talking and not all the garbage we find today, those ones will rather double your trouble, the God type of music is the real balm here I’m talking about hymns and spiritual songs. Need a few pointers, try Jamie Grace’s music, or Britt Nicole, Audrey Assad, Lecrae, Flame, Kenny K’ore, and quite a lot of others.

15) YES THERE WOULD BE PAINS BUT IT WONT LAST FOREVER: there would be phases of pains and hurt in our lives but believe me the pain won’t last forever, it shall surely pass away, that’s only if you allow it to really heal.

16) TO LIVE FREE IS TO KNOW BONDAGE: a lot of people fall into trouble because of freedom, to live a life without control, or without accountability to anybody is the beginning of doom for a person, one of the worse risk is trying to be the boss of yourself.

17)  BE AWARE OF THE DARKNESS BUT ALWAYS FOCUS ON THE LIGHT: yes there is always darkness in life but there is also light never allow your focus to be on the dark, focus on the light always.

18) NEVER ALLOW DEPRESSION: no matter how terrible your life may seem never allow depression into your life it would hinder a lot of things in your life.

19) RUN FROM BITTERNESS: no matter how much hurt and heartbreaks you go through in life allow them to make you stronger, but never allow them leave you bitter, bitterness is like a chronic state of cancer, it even drives people away from us.

20) MAJORITY IS NOT LEGALITY: that everybody is doing something does not make it right, neither does a thing being legal make it right, everybody is doing it should not be your reasons for doing things, most time the majority could be really wrong, we don’t always have to stick to the status quo.

21) GOD DOESN’T ALWAYS USE THOSE YOU EXPECT HIM TO USE: God is not always use those we expect or want him to use for us or in our lives, however he will use those he wants to use for us. God’s ways are not ours.

22) FINALLY: Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus, just to take him at his word, just to rest upon his promise, just to know thus says the lord, this is actually from a hymn, it’s a summary of all I’ve learnt and gone through in life, trusting God is just the sweetest thing that we can do. Try it today he’s def amazing.

CHRISTMAS MEMORIES

CHRISTMAS MEMORIES

So its Christmas season again brings back so many memories from several years ago to recent years, so for today I’m just going to be doing a little thing about some of my Christmas memories.

When I think of Christmas in the 1990’s (I’m writing 1990’s like I know anything about then ) I think about the Christmas carol in school, then again I think again about our telephone wire hairstyles or our indomie hairstyles, or how could i even  forget out evergreen bob Marley, and our multiple coloured ribbons, our “mama tie me ” dresses :D our matching cap’s and bags (really nowadays children are all grown before they even get the chance to live), I remember I and my older sister wearing similar clothes and feeling all sisterly, really those were the fun Christmases, I and my friends walking everywhere together like we owned the place an quick to shake our heads at the slightest opportunity (trust we just had to shake our telephone wires or the beads on our hair), Christmas then was all about our Christmas clothes, shoes and hair, and the fact I was not in school, and plenty of food and a little of family in fact family was just for receiving gifts.

   Christmas in the early 2000’s  was just like the 1990’s, however soon I was hold enough to use fireworks knock out and Biscoe light, and go out with friends so Christmas became about going out and meeting with friends and just having fun generally no God in the Christmas at all except for the Christmas service we had early on Christmas day, soon Christmas became about me showing my decoration skills and ideas and Christmas tree decorations, every Christmas I couldn’t wait to bring out the Christmas tree and decorate it with ball, drums, and Christmas lights and all, however my last few Christmas have been different they’ve been more about family, love and most importantly Christ the one whose birthday we celebrate on that day, it’s been more about the time with family than about the clothes, shoes and hair (I can’t even remember when last I did all the Christmas clothes and hair stuff),it’s not about what I can receive for Christmas but what I could give,  it’s now about the opportunity to celebrate with my savior, friend and lover of my soul.

   How about you what has Christmas been like all these years, why don’t we all share some of our own Christmas memories. Feel free to drop some of yours in the comment field. Xoxo Busayo. 

FACTS VS TRUTH

     Hello people trust your day has been going on fine and your week was beautiful, mine has been amazing my two younger ones just returned from the boarding house yesterday, I was flipping excited to have them back, especially my baby brother, it was his first time in a boarding school however by Gods grace he made it and even came out top of his class, I was definitely so proud of him and my sister also who had struggled with change of schools but was also on top of her game in her new school plus Thursday last week was her 13^th birthday I’m also thankful for that.

     To todays issue “THE FACT” vs.  “THE TRUTH” I’m not an English student in fact if I’m given a chance I’d murder English, so while the trained English student would refer to fact and truth as same I see them as totally distinct while my dictionary defines truth as the face I see truth as overlooking fact, while fact is defined as something known to be true. My bible tells me that God is the truth, in your health the fact might be that you’re having pain in your body, the truth however is that  by the stripes of our lord Jesus we are healed (Isa 53:5) the fact is that you have lost your partner or a family member and it feels like God does not love you, the truth is nothing can separate us from the love of God not sin nor trouble nor tribulations (Rom 8:35-37 ), the fact is that there is an outbreak of an epidemic and everybody is dying, the truth is “a thousand may fall at my left and right but no evil shall befall me only with my eyes will I see the reward of the wicked” the fact is I have committed too many sins for God to love me the truth is “love covers a multitude of sins” and God is love another truth here is God says he himself will blot out our transgression and remember our sins no more, the fact is you joined a cult of your own volition or submitted yourself to the devil by reasons of your sins the truth is the captives of the mighty shall be set free and even the lawful captives shall be set free ( Isa 49:24-29), the fact is you have committed so many abortions now you have no womb the fact is God is a miracle worker and with him the barren shall be fruitful, the fact is there is currently not a single money in your wallet and you need a lot of things the truth is “the lord shall supply all my needs according to his riches in glory” and many other instances.

        The fact is the physical (the ordinary) the truth is beyond the ordinary the truth is a different realm from the ordinary the truth is the supernatural, the truth is the fourth dimension in this 3 dimensional world, the truth is the higher realm. The only way to see above the ordinary is through Christ, without Christ we can never experience the truth we can’t even sense the truth and if you can’t sense it you can’t have it, until we have Christ we’ll go through life based on the facts and we won’t experience joy just happiness based on the facts surrounding us, while if we have Christ we can see the supernatural we’ll have Joy not moved or in the least disturbed by the facts surrounding. I urge you all today who know Christ  to go through the word(the bible) and get truth for our situations and circumstances and to those who don’t know Christ you’re just a step away from the truth Just ask him into your life and you’ll experience the joy of Christ. Have a beautiful Sunday everyone and an abundance of God’s blessings through the week.  

DEAR BOAZ : LOOK CLOSER

                                                       

Wednesday was my birthday and for the first time in my life I was not looking forward to it, because it only made me more aware of the fact that I was getting older and I was still very single any way I managed to get up that morning, and prepare for work, while I was still dressing my parents called and prayed for me, i managed to drag myself to  work, on getting to office there was nothing so spectacular about the day, except Toks seem more on my case.

Tokunbo is my work buddy, my confidante, in fact in short terms he was my best friend, we shared almost everything  including my lunch which I usually brought from the house, he even knew about all my trial and errors in relationships, he even introduced me to two of the guys I dated and made jokes of some of them most times he was around me, he was even the one who adviced me to try a dating website and all. Anyway on my birthday he asked me to dinner to celebrate my birthday quietly with me, I didn’t mind at least I didn’t have a boyfriend to keep me occupied that night so Toks was an option.

   Later in the day all members of staff celebrated my birthday for me it was beautiful and I really enjoyed it.

     The day went quickly and it was already evening and about time for my dinner with Toks I thought of what to wear, I finally decided on my black shimmery dress and purple shoes plus my purple earrings and by the time my make up was done I knew I was beautiful I felt like I had just stepped out of a magazine I felt truly beautiful like I hadn’t in a long time, anyway I went for my dinner on my arrival at the agreed venue, I had to fight to keep myself from releasing a gasp the place was truly beautiful the candle lit and all I was truly in love with the place already, just  then something else took my breath away Tokunbo he had never looked more handsome, I had to quickly gain myself back before things got quickly weird. “so who lent you a suit that left you looking this good this evening?” I asked trying to lighten up the moment “It’s one of the things I inherited from my ancestors, I don’t wear it except for special occasions” he replied, it was one of the reasons I and Toks were friends he had quite a sense of humor,  I gave him a smile and asked again if he used make up because he looked too handsome to be the Toks I knew, he laughed and said he was pleased he’d impressed me that night, we engaged in small talk actually we did a little bit of gossiping afterwards we ordered our dinner, then it was time for desert when it happened, he started adjusting really uneasy in his chair, he looked more nervous than I had ever seen him, he never looked that serious not even when he got into trouble and was called to see our boss, as I sat ther wandering the waiter returned with a package, which appeared too large to be dessert, he dropped the package right in front of me as I opened it my jaw practically dropped it was the most beautifull cake I had ever seen, it was made in form of an engagement ring, next to the cake was a not that simply said “say yes please”

   as I looked up from my note I saw Toks on one knee, ring in hand and for the first time I saw him look so serious “marry me please, I’ve watched you try to find love in the past few months especially and with each time you failed I felt more convinced you were the one, I’ve thought about it severally I love you too much to just keep being friends with you, I want you to become a part of my life, I want to know what it feels like to crack you up when we’re like 60 and when we have a daughter I’ll like for her to have your eyes. Marry me please” honestly in that moment I felt a series of emotions, I wanted to hug him tightly and say YES and let him know that was the sweetest thing I had heard at the same time I wanted to slap him and ask him why he had to wait this long, but I did neither I just sat there and stared long at him before I said” haba Tokkunbo so it was you all along? you knew me long before I even started searching you didn’t even make a move, you allowed me to try them all, you watched become desperate and become nice to every Tom, dick and Harry yet you didn’t ask, I volunteered to go to kano, sokoto and Kaduna on training hoping you were there I dint even mind if you were malo or Boko, you allowed me to be friend zoned severally, you let me do plenty stupid things and even laughed with me over it, I attended weddings with or without i.v hoping I’ll be lucky but no, you’ve been there all, along, I even changed churches hoping if you were not in one you’ll be in the other but no, you even followed me to church to search and all along it had been you, did you actually plan to frustrate my prayer effort? You allowed me stupid things in looking for you harma you even joined me in doing some and it was you all along, okay o. thanks for coming out at last Mr. Boaz and YES I’d marry you” I said smiling, as he slipped the ring onto my finger I knew it was a night I was going to remember all my life and a decision I wouldn’t regret, because with Toks and God in my life I was sure all that lay ahead was bliss, yes we’ll fight and argue, we’ll make fun of each other but more than anything else I was sure all was going to be well and yes for the first time that night I realized how much butterflies I had in my tummy whenever I was him,  just I was too sure my Boaz was a thousand miles away to realize he was the guy at the table next to mine, my trusted adviser and work buddy.

     NOTE: overtime we’ve met a lot of people we get so used to being around them and so we just believe they can’t be the right people we just think the right ones so we’re busy looking a thousand miles away for Mr. right and even enlisting the help of our Mr. right in the search for Mr. right :P. it’s about time you stopped looking too far and look around you, it could be the guy next door or even your lunch partner in the office, a gym partner, e.t.c And no I’m not saying all your close friends are you potential partners so you should date them all, but of them all he could be, all you need do is ask God to open your eyes and give you insight as to who it is and the right thing to do. Trusting that God will open the eyes of every single and especially those of marriageable ages to see and not just be looking around.

       PERSONAL NOTE: Abegii I’m not yet married o! and the story above is purely fictional before my own Boaz will read this article and lemme alone o! p.s: in case you read it I love the way Toks proposed in the story  and wouldn’t mind such also, precisely on my 21^st birthday, which is quite years from now, well you can start planning for it from now. : D just kidding though. Have an amazing weekend everyone.

MY THOUGHTS I don’t know if you’ve ever thought of this at one point or the other in your life. I got to Lagos airport really late last night my parents were out of town therefore there was no one for me to hurry home to so I took my time and didn’t even mind coming home with the last flight, all was well until a few minutes into the flight a man stood up and walked past me and I knew it was him, he looked same as the last time I saw him, It took heavenly intervention for me not to get up and go under my seat, “how in God’s name did I get on the same plane as this guy?” as I was trying to think of what to do he came back in, immediately saw him come in I began digging my purse for things that were not missing, he passed and didn’t give me as much as a glance the entire flight and if nothing else I was so relieved when the plane landed, however that was when the worst happened, as I made to exit the plane I felt a hand on my hand a hand that was unmistakably his, I had felt his hands on my body all too much not to know how his hands felt, anyway I turned pretending surprise, and then I looked at his eyes and it all came back again and I was wondering again why I left him in the first place “it’s been a while and I’m really happy to see you” he said to me I didn’t talk as I knew if I did I was going to stammer and he was going to read meaning to my stammering so I quickly offered a quick smile shook myself free of his grip and hurriedly walked to my car and baba my driver took me home. On getting home I ran into my room, I started to think and for the first time since I got born-again I felt like my life was way easier before I got born again, then I didn’t have to fight him when all I really wanted to do was be with him, normally before I got born again I would have gone home with him and we would have gotten nasty that night but here I was fighting him with all I could, the fight was killing me I felt like a child overdosing on asthma attack, the room gradually began to feel too small and chocked up for me, I was still in this state when I heard my room door open and as I looked up I couldn’t believe it he wasn’t really standing there, I must have passed out and was in an unconscious state or I was just simply imagining things, but no I wasn’t he was really there he walked up to my bed sat next to me and in his sexiest voice he whispered some empty nonsense to me the only thing I could make out from all he said was “kiss me” and I that instant I didn’t mind I was saved, I did what I always did before I found God, I kissed him and before I knew it he was reaching for the zip to my dress, it was at that point I regained control of myself and pushed him away but he wouldn’t go we started to struggle, I was getting weak I wanted to give in, at the same time I knew what always happened after we did it, thank God for Caro who brought in my dinner at that time and he had to leave me alone. I don’t know how many of you can relate to this feeling, we are saved and after we are saved we are tempted and suddenly want to go back because it takes a lot to fight temptation and yielding is easier, or we feel our lives were less restricted before we found Christ but now with Christ there is a lot we can’t do like those simple white lies we told without guilt, times we didn’t have money and we are tempted to alter some financial reports e.t.c. I don’t know if anyone else feels that way, once in a while I feel like that however every time it happens I realize that going back is like leaving the one who loves me totally and really for a one night stand with an abusive overlord, of that the proverbs are true a dog that returns to its vomit, more times than I’ll like to admit I’ve thought that way, but today I realize that every time I’m faced with situations like that it’s like heaven and hell are watching you waiting to see who will win over your life, keep this picture in your mind daily and it’ll help you every time you get into such situations. Have a great day and bear in mind “you life could not and would not be any better without Christ in it.” Xoxo Busayo

ON DATING AND INTIMACYHello people, trust you had a good weekend, and i thank God for making you see the last monday in november, honestly this year ran faster than any i've ever seen, and in the twinkle of an eye the year would be over, i'm really thankful i got to see this year and i'm thankful i'm still alive and you my dear readers are alive and able to read, that you're not in some remote jungle unable to have access to technology or blind God is amazing and for these and many more i'm utterly thankful to God. However today i'd like us to muse about two issues that has been of concern to me. 1) Do we date as christians or do we just go into courtship? A lot of times in the church when this issue comes up the only thing i hear is we don't date as christians we only court. However personally i dont see it as that. Whats your take on this. Lets have your opinion. 2) How intimate can i be with a person i'm dating/ courting? A few months ago this guy asked me out and was all mush about the fact that i had cute lips and all, and polietly i smiled as i didn't know what next to do, and then he made to kiss me and i refused and that was it, we didn't date again. A lot of relationships around us today is charactised by the whole kissing and intimacy thing, call me a 1960 chick if you want, but honestly i totally still believe in the virginity thing.The other day we had a convo about this and i said i could hug anybody anywhere, but with my partner i'm more careful, personally i believe that its not just a hug, there are also feelings attached to it and a little this and a little of that leads to the main thing :D and a lot of people gave me the "how-many-centuries-ago-were-you-born?" kind of look. Now thats just my thinking. Whats your take on that? Lets muse people. Just drop your comment and let me know what you think.

DEAR BOAZ For a lot of single people, singleness results in frustrations, so as a male figure you are either a partner material or an enemy, this is actually not on purpose most times but its just how it happens, we are either partners(about to get married) or enemies who don't relate. we are extreme, we either love them or hate them we don't have a safe ground for just friendship,ACTUALLY THAT SAFE GROUND IS WHAT WE NEED. One thing i've observed is in such atmosphere people can be real, for instance someone you hate who wants you to like them, would likley pretend just to get you to like them, while the one you love outrightly could just pretend to impress, however in the ordinary friendship relations the need to impress is less. pretence would thrive in the white or black relationship while in friendship pretence would be unnecessary thus relationships built from friendship are usually more true, so while you may be single you need to avoid extremity and stay on the confortable middle ground of plain platonic friendship. So today i urge singles to stop searching for either a husband or one more male to hate, but begin to establish and cultivate healthy friendship, and who knows your mr.Boaz might just be one of the members of your circle of friends. Have a great week. Love Busayo.

ESTABLISHING BOUNDARIES About a week ago i did this post on the topic "RUN!!" where i mentioned the need to have boundaries. So today i'll just be doing a little exposition on the need for boundries, creating and adjusting our boundaries, as well as our boundaries and our relationship with others. First what is a boundary? A boundary can be defined as a limit above which is trespassing, by this i mean is simply a limit to which something can be done, also a boundry is also a way of seperating one place from another anywhere outside the boundary is a trespass, for instance a boarder of a country is a boundary of that country. Every one needs a boundary in their life, a life without boundary is one that moves without direction and that is a very risky point to be in life, a life without boundary takes in everything both the good and the sinful. If we'll be honest or are sensitive enough we'll admit that there are some conversations we get into and at a point things which are been said begin to affect us negativley (actually we need to realise that these conversation may not be sinful) however they have negative effects on us, if we don't identify our boundaries we'll contine such conversations and end up getting into trouble or falling into sin, there are things people do that mess with our emotions and a lot of other things however these things are not always sinful(tho they could be at times). In simple words the need for boundaries is all to guard our hearts and prevent ourselves from falling into problems. Something we also need to realise is our boundaries are usually limited to us and there is no perfect way of stoping others from trespassing, we also do not have to make them feel like sinners, for instance there is no polite way of saying "can you not do that? It makes me struggle with my thoughts" its a simple way of turning a conversation from simply netural to "totally weird" so in our relationship with others our boundaries will tend to be trespassed however we can simply divert attention or a discussion another way without making it seem all weird, and if we can't divert attention we can curteously exeat the discussion without making it seem all weird, also know that your boundaries might limit you from moving with certain people you'll naturally love to move with its one of the sacrifice we have to make for success and also for heaven, also having boundries don't make you less special or less than any one else, it only makes you different and our differences from others are not a reason to be weary or feel inferior our difference from others is simply God's finger print on us. Finally over time i've discovered that boundaries could change, hence once in a while there would be a need to revise our boundaries and adjust them as the case may be. Have a beautiful day, and i'm hoping after reading this one of you would figure and establish their oun boundaries. I love you all my dear readers and i'm praying for you all. You can send your messages, questions or even prayer points to my email busayokehinde32@yahoo.com, and i'll reply promptly. Xoxo honeydrops

DEAR BOAZ: DON'T MARRY A MAN UNTIL YOU ARE MARRIED TO HIM! Hello people sorry I've not being updating my dear Boaz posts like i promised, the last week has been really stressful i've had a lot of tests and stuff, however here is another one. Hope you enjoy it. I also want to thank God very much for my family, thursday last week made it 21 years my parents have been together and i'm thankful for them, they are a part of my inspirations i love and I'm really thankful for them. The other day a friend of mine posted something on facebook about how her mind does this automatic rating once she sees a guy. Now i can't really say its wrong to rate someone by some of the things they do or look like, however for some of us our mind does a lot more that the "handsomeness meter" test, we meet a guy he says hello, and thats it, "he's in love with you" and right on your seat you marry him, 'you do a tux fitting(not physically), walk into the church with him staring at you, your family in the congregation, your favourite pastor giving the sermon, your honeymoon, you begin to have children, you picture how they'll look, you even give them names, before you even get to know the guys name'. For some of us a polite hi equals "hello how are you? You are so beautiful, would you marry me? Really we need to realise that not every man is YOUR potential husband, and also stop qualifying or disqualifying people. Without even giving them a chance to be our friends, we need to have friends even if we'll have a partner. Not every hi is a proposal we need to stop marrying people until we are married to them. Have a beautiful sunday! Xoxo HoneyDrops

RUN!!! For a while i've been trying to understand the concept of flee all apperance of evil. I've never really sat down to consider it and i asked God to explain it to me. Now i've never really sat to listen to God or learn from little things around me, i keep expecting God to show me a large scary picture in a dream or something like that and until now i never understood the scripture. I remember something my pastor once said, he said we christians like difficult things, we don't like simple prayer we want 40 days and 40 night fasting and prayer, the prayer of your pastor over the phone is not enough we want the laying on of hands, we're not even enought with laying on of hands we want annointing oil, we don't even mind pastors lying down on us in the name of deliverance, we don't even mind fake so long a there's "miracle" to show for it, its so amazing how we pursue hard things when simple things produce same results. May God help us o! Back to the matter o, what does it mean to run and why is it that we don't run always? I have been so spiritual about this issue expecting a deeper meanin but here is what i found, to run as its written in the bible is the same as the actual meaning of 'run' that is- to move away with speed, now why don't we run? The answer is simple in real life it take more effort to run than to sit in a place, so applying it to the issue at hand its easier to just sit and look or fall for evil than to run from it and as humans we're always looking for the easiest way out hence we never get to run. The second issue "apperances of evil" reading that part i realised that a lot of things in their actual sense may not be wrong but could lead one to evil for instance, while people kissing in a movie may not be a sin(i'm not sure of that tho) it may be just what would set a struggling porn addict off, while, watching a movie and seeing people smoking and drinking and being glad may not be a sin it could be what would set an alchol addict off. Here's the drill an apperance of evil may not be same for everyone know what yours is and work to flee and pray for grace to flee, and when your find yourself in compromising situations don't sit there thinking an angel from heaven will run dow and tell you to flee(you'll wait ehn!) no follow your instinct and run as fast and as far as you can. However before you can flee you need to sat boundaries(i'll be writing on boundaries tomorrow) Have a fulfulied monday and remember to RUN! Today, in the office, in class, at the mall, in the cinema, even in the midst of friends. Always have your RUN button on and press it once the situation calls for it.

DEAR BOAZ: CLINGY MUCH? Hey people its been a while, i do hope you all are well and in good health, may the grace of my God continually be there to keep and guide us all. Also to all those who have continued to encourage me and support my blog i'm grateful its because of you and God i still write stuff on here, thanks a lot. This is actually supposed to be fridays post but school has been tedious, so i haven't had time to write anything, however they say its better late than never so i guess thats it. Hope you enjoy this piece. Kolade and i dated for quite 2 months before he decided to call it quits, his reason being that i was too clingy. Honestly while we dated i didnt see it as being clingy its was just that i loved him and was proud of him so i felt the need to always be around him, while we dated i saw kolade as the salt of my life like without kolade my life was empty and tasteless but now i've discovered that he was just supposed to add colour to an already beautiful life, Kolade was the number 1 in my life which was just totally wrong the no 1 was and is supposed 2 be for God and nothing or anybody else, but for Kolade it was different i could put God on hold for a conversation with kolade, i stopped hanging out with my girlfriends and was always with Kolade, i escused myself from family sunday lunch because kolade was free and i could not afford to miss a chance to be with Kolade, the height of it was that i asked questions about any girl i saw with him or arround him(over do abi?) now to me that was protecting my own interest, i would spend weekends at his place arranging and cleaning his place and preparing his meals, i even hung potraits of myself on his wall whenever his friends came they'd call me "our wife" and i'd be very glad and cook for them all, i was so sure he was my Boaz since his friends "liked" me (if i had known what his friends thought of me i'd have poisoned their meals when i cooked mtcheww) i even started going out with his friends and himself, i didnt mind if there was going to be nothing for me to do there, i'd just sit alone and watch them have fun. The height of it was when i followed them for an all guys weekend trip, one of the nights they went to a club and people were smoking everywhere now i'm asthmatic and very allegic to smoke however i just had to me near my man so i stayed until i had an attack and had to be rushed out of the place, i guess my attack ruined their trip as the guys had an arguement that night and in the end kolade and i left without the others, when we returned kolade and i had a little arguement, so i decided to be a little scarce, however i could not i missed him too much, he was my "oxygen" in less than a day i was already calling him and apologising he said it was okay and asked if i could be a little scarce i agreed, but i kept on calling him infact i'll call him up to 10 times a day just to hear his voice, to be sure he was fine, becaused i missed him, if he changed his dp i'd ask questions about where and where he took the pictures and who he was with, until one friday i called him and heard a female voice in the background and off i went to his office there was no lady on sit and for some reasons i can't fathom i started searching under his table for the chic i guess that provoked him as he suddenly started shouting at me telling me i was too clingy and acting like i didn't have a life, and about how all his friends were now referring to him as "the man with the wife" and finally he told me he was done. Immediatley he told me he was done i ran to my car and for the next 10 minutes i couldn't start the car as i was crying and shaking, i had just joined the league of single ladies once again, when i could finally muster enough strenght to drive i started to go but on my way i got so distracted and frustrated i almost had an accident at that point i just parked my car and let out a frustrated scream "Boaz how many times would i be rejected before you would come out abi do you want me to join the convent ni?". Dear single ladies we can be loving without been to clingy or around all the time, now its not wrong to be there for your partner all the time but while you do this try not to appear insecure or idle to the point of being is un needed PA, most especially when u're not yet married, also don't make anyone number 1 in your life not even your partner that is the God spot and let it remain so, furthermore that you're in a relationship should not be a reason why you should stop being friends with people once in a while still hang out with people like you(same sex) its actually beneficial, same for the single guys (infact a clingy guy is just a sad idea). Finally bear in mind that being single is not a disease but a time to build yourself up physically, spiritually, emotionally and otherwise and a great time to build self esteem and independence as well. Hope you all enjoyed and learnt from this piece.

DEAR BOAZ: SELF ESTEEM AND SETTLING FOR LESS I recently heard about a woman who had been separated from her husband for many years. They no longer lived in the same house, but every day, he would come over and have her iron his shirts and make him breakfast. One of the women in the room asked her why she kept holding on to him. Why she let him come over and dictate her life when he didn’t want to be a part of her life. “I guess I feel, I don’t deserve– I don’t deserve to be happy.” That realization stunned her. It brought her to tears. She had been punishing herself for making the ‘bad decisions’ that got her into this situation. As I watched that show I remembered my relationship with Dipo, he was one of the most amazing men I’d ever known he was totally my Mr. Boaz, 6ft,light skinned, sexy, he had a really amazing voice, and cute dimples that left me confused every time he smiled at me in short he was my knight in shining amour, however Dipo was fine and he knew it and would always remind me of that and the fact that many other girls would be willing to have him or even share him with me and how he was managing me whenever we had an argument, our relationship was one I couldn’t even understand myself but if someone as fine as Dipo could decide to manage me I just had to please him, Dipo was practically the most uncaring guy I’d ever met but after several failed relationship, anyone was good enough for me. He would snap at me at any point in time he wanted and I’ll be the one to apologized to him for misbehaving and feeling sad over him yelling at me, while we dated I was 70% the giver and I always made do with whatever measly 30% he offered now and then, I’d lap it up like a thirsty kitten, grateful for the occasional love thrown my way, not really love just gifts, he cheated and cheated on me up till the point I was now grateful to be called or visited, he turned my into a shadow of myself a crazed out girl. Eventually he broke up with me himself telling me he didn’t deserve me. I never imagined myself begging a guy but I begged Dipo that I wasn’t complaining I was willing to manage. No Dipo passed on my offer and eventually we broke up. Shortly after we broke up I was listening to a message on attractiveness when the pastor talked about self esteem he talked about the Israelite spies who went out to spy a land saw giants and ran back saying “they were as ants before themselves and that was how the people saw them” then I realized that it was how I saw myself Dipo saw mw all along, the reason he was able to treat me the way he did. Now here’s a little piece to all single people have a healthy self esteem the way you see your self is the way your partner would address you, if you go acting like you are looking for love and you don’t mind getting it from anyone and anything you would also be treated so. Also that you are single doesn’t make you any less human or special therefore you need not settle for less.

ME AND MY MOUTH Ever been in a place and people are talking about an issue (possibly something unpleasant you are struggling or suffering from) and someone makes a statement like “ME! GOD FORBID I WOULD NEVER DO SUCH”. Okay now I have a feeling most people don’t get me. So how about I give some practical instances. On one occasion I was in a room with two girls and they were discussing about the kind of partners the wanted and after a while on said “he has to be healthy o! I can’t marry an AS or an asthmatic patient o, before he’ll die in my hands or I’ll now give birth to a sickle cell” now I’m both an asthmatic patient and I’ve got AS as my genotype. It might not have been their intention to offend me however they did. Now that happened about a year ago but occasionally it comes to mind and it hurts me, it annoys me and sometime it even scares me-the thought that someone might love me but not be able to go far with me because I’m asthmatic or an AS scares me out of almost every relationship. Another time I was in a Christian gathering( not a church tho ) and while we were there our talk kind of got around some issues and they got to something I was struggling with at the time and while they were talking someone made a mean remark about those who have such struggles and that dropped my spirit big time another time I thought I’d tell someone this Christian girl around us made a face showing disgust (now maybe she didn’t make the face because of me) but because someone had made a remark earlier I felt it was because of me so I didn’t say anything again. I decided to give these two examples to portray how what we say affects others around us. As I write this I realize how many times I’ve said things to hurt others without even knowing, I just say things because It’s what I think, for instance I don’t see how possible it is for somebody to have a gp of below 3.5, but people have it and it’s not because they don’t work hard we’re just different and we all have our different struggles and our struggle is unique to each individual once I said “I’m responsible for what I say and not what you understand” however now I know better. Next time we want to talk let’s consider the fact that everybody has their own struggle hence the need to be mindful of what we say as we have no idea what the people we’re talking with are struggling.

I CAN ONLY IMAGINE Once in a while i do the wrong stuff, i fear human beings, i don't trust God enough, i don't even think i love God enough, i'm timid even when God tells me what to do, i sin because i like the easy way out and to that i simply say"well i'm human", i can only imagine how God feels, is he mad? Does he still love me? Can he have mercy on me this time around? What does he think of me? How does he see me now? Does he regret dying for me? Overtime after asking myself these questions i realised one thing“God does not regret saving me. There is no sin which you commit which is beyond the cross of Christ.” After i got to know this i quit questioning God, i now boast in my weakness NOT IN MY SIN, because where i'm inadequate i know my God is more than enough. Now whenever i try sinning i can only imagine how much love would make a person give his life for me and if nothing else it stops me form sinning.

SICK ON A SUNDAY: MY WORSE TEMPTATION

SICK ON A SUNDAY: MY GREATEST STRUGGLE EVER

So the post for Saturday came really late, in fact I posted it early hours of today at 12:32am to be precise which should not have been. I already had another post ready for yesterday but that one came and I felt it was more pressing so I decided to do it, I had to go out at 12:32 this morning to seek network to post the write up and as I did that God told me something which I’ll share one of these days.

       Today’s write up is actually more of a continuation of yesterdays own with a few more adjustments. Enjoy!

    Its Sunday morning and I wake up with severe headaches I really should go to church but the headache is so strong I can literarily feel my head pounding, mum comes upstairs to call me, but on sighting me she also thinks I need to rest so she suggests I stay at home, I know what happens when I stay alone so I tell her I can manage I, she insists and shola my older sister offers to stay with me at home, so the rest of the family goes off. After assisting me to have my bath and breakfast shola tells me she wants to go and see her friends (friends I hate anyway) and off she goes with a promise to be back home before our parents return, and I go back to bed after a while I wake up and the real headache is gone, all that is left is the other type of headache, the one I had last night I ask God to take it away it doesn’t go, I decide to leave my room as I get to the  bottom of the stairs my eye meets something familiar I walk over and pick it up, its dads bottle of red wine, he never leaves it lying around why is it here? Then that voice tells me to take it that its all I need I recognize the voice it’s the one I hear every time I fall, I know where all tis is leading I’ve been down this road severally however I listen to the voice anyway because it the easy way out of all its torment so I open the bottle and begin gulping and as I begin to calm down the guilt and shame come over me and I sit on the floor there wondering why did I decide to fall ill on a Sunday? Why? And as I sit on the floor there covered in guilt shola walks in and says HOW ARE YOU FEELING NOW?

       OR MAYBE FOR YOU

                  Its Sunday morning and I wake up feeling really feverish, I really should go to church but my head aches so much that I can literarily feel my head pounding, mum comes upstairs to call me, but on sighting me she also thinks I need to rest so she suggests I stay at home, I know what happens when I stay alone so I tell her I can manage she however insists so I oblige, a few hours after they leave when I can manage to stand I have a warm shower and a few minutes later my fever breaks and I feel a lot better, there is no light so there is really nothing to do so I decide to surf the net maybe face book, or twitter or I could even listen to a sermon online I tell myself so I pick up my laptop and begin to browse I check face book first no one I’d love to chat with is online, I move to twitter its all the same regular tweet so I move on to YouTube I really don’t know which preacher I’d even love to listen but I’ll check anyway, as the homepage open I see a blurry video it’s a 3 minutes clip I know what it contains all too well but I act to myself like I don’t know and open it, there is really nothing in the video but it arouses me again since there is a link to see the full video, I follow the link, the link is however a website I know too much and I know what it contains, but I force my mind to act like it doesn’t and open the link and as I watch the full video my heart keeps beating in that rhythm of guilt but I don’t stop because my desire is not yet satisfied and when I hit my peek 5 minutes into the video the guilt come and I quickly hit that big re X on the right hand side of the screen I shut down my system and sit there and ask myself the very same question why did I decide to be sick on a Sunday?

   OR PHERAPS

         Its Sunday morning and I wake up feeling all cold and I feel like I,d break if I leave my bed so I decided to miss church for that day while all my roommate go to church I begin to shiver I think I need somebody to be with me in case I need to be take to the hospital so I call the only person I’m sure wouldn’t be in church and wouldn’t mind coming- my boyfriend, I call him and he agrees to come, while there he says he thinks its stress and offers to massage my body I know what we always do whenever he makes that offer and I’ve told God I wasn’t going to do it again, that’s why I barely spend time with him but today I need him around me for my own good I think so I let him massage and from then we do it again and as he starts to dress and leave as my roommates would soon return I sit and ask myself why did I choose to have a cold on a Sunday of all days? And then the guilt and shame comes I’ve denied the lover of my soul again for a one night stand with an oppressive overlord.

          I could give several more examples but this post I already getting too long, for a lot of people reading you possibly think it’s the fault of any one of these people however for people who have been in any of these situations you’ll understand better that most times when you get into such situations there are several ways out but we as humans are always looking for an easy way out and most times the easier way is the sinful way. I’m trusting that God would help every one of us see his own way out.

   And to those who have fallen into any of these or similar situations today or previously embrace his grace, and when next you have to skip out on God get things that would occupy you, read more of the word and it’ll help you through temptation no matter how strong, also decide not to catch up on sin and decide to catch up on God in your closet. May his grace see you through.

Xoxo honeydrops

        

   

FALLING ON A SATURDAY

FALLING ON A SATURDAY

   I spent the whole Saturday thinking of what to write on but as the day came to an end something came up its quite personal and something I can really relate to. Hopefully there is one or two of you that can relate to any of these situations. Enjoy

   Its Saturday night, I’ve had a really long and tiring day, meetings in the church, home cleaning, weekly shopping, cooking, youth group meeting, choir practice, name I’m so exhausted finally I get into my room and its time to get my dress ready for church, when the head ache comes, it’s not the normal type of headache it’s the one that comes whenever I’m overworked, tired or in need of a quick fix. I know what would fix it, the very thing that keeps getting me into trouble with everyone and even with God- the bottle. I know it’s wrong but for now it’s necessary I need it if I’m going to get anything done- and I need to get a lot of things done. So here is what I’d do I’ll take just a cup of vodka but I’ll dilute it  so its effect won’t be all that strong on me, I rummage through my trunk sure that somehow I’ve still got at least a bottle down there, I find it anyway and start to drink it, after the first cup I feel my nerves begin to relax when my eyes drift aimlessly around my room and catches my bible on my dresser and the guilt of what I had just done comes strongly and is about to choke me I pick up the bottle of vodka run to the bathroom and pour it away, I move back into my room throw myself on the bed and cover my head with my pillow, hoping I’ll wake up tomorrow and realize that it was all something from a horrible dream, that the mouth that is supposed to sing for Christ tomorrow didn’t just have a quick fix, a quick  minutes of weakness, but he truth hits me square even as I try to force sleep to come, I JUST DID IT AGAIN.

   Its Saturday night, I’ve had a really long and tiring day, meetings in the church, home cleaning, weekly shopping, cooking, youth group meeting, choir practice, name I’m so exhausted finally I get into my room and its time to get my dress ready for church, when the head ache comes, it’s not the normal type of headache it’s the one that comes whenever I’m overworked, tired or in need of a quick fix. I know what would fix it, the very thing that keeps getting me into trouble with everyone and even with God- PORNOGRAPHY, its just going to give me a quick orgasm without necessarily committing the grave sin of fornication, next to my bed is my laptop there is free wifi so I sieze the opportunity to quickly fix myself I sit on my bed and turn on my laptop thinking to myself “I shouldn’t be doing this and saying lord I’m sorry” but I do it anyway it’s a 9 minutes video but 5 minutes into the video I hit my peak and as I feel myself relax so does the guilt wash over me, I quickly click the ’X’ button on the top right side of the screen, shut down my laptop and run into the shower wishing I could somehow wash the whole thing out nothing happens in the shower, I run out and throw myself under my comforter, hoping that somehow I’ll wake up and it would turn out to e something from a horror nightmare, but no its not, the truth is I DID IT AGAIN.

    A lot of people can relate to similar circumstances might not be exactly either of the above scenarios but similar, I know the feeling of falling on a Saturday all too well to deny it exists at all, we all fall into sin once in a while but falling on a Saturday night is just so different it’s just so………………I’m really at a loss for words to explain the feeling I mean I’ve done wrong stuff every other day felt guilty and pleaded for mercy and felt okay but for Saturday it just different. But here is what I’ve realized i can choose to go to church the next day and lift up holy hands like nothing ever happened while guilt eats up at me, or i can choose to go in all brokenness to the one who can fix it all and let him fix me and cover me in his grace and give me strength to resist next time. The choice really is our but trust me the second option is better because ignoring it won’t make it go anyway.

   Have a fulfilled Sunday and just embrace his grace.

DEAR BOAZ: DON'T MOVE WITH THE FLOW

 It's Friday again, this time two weeks ago I’d have made plans to clear all my schedule for the weekend and go to my "boyfriend" Demola's house. Actually Demola was never really my boyfriend as he never asked me out o, however while I did all the chores of a girlfriend he never corrected me so we just kept on moving with the flow, However I was careful not to introduce him to anybody as my boyfriend, and every time his hungry friends came to his house and ate the food I had so painstakingly prepared and would keep calling me "our wife" I never stopped them from calling that neither did I accept it. Demola never said anything about our relationship or whatever it is we were doing neither did I ever ask.

Anyway we kept on moving with the flow until this Friday, Demola came to pick me as he always did on Fridays, I walked majestically to the passenger seat as I opened the door I saw a babe there I was shocked at first but my 1000^th sense told me she was his sister, or maybe a cousin or the daughter to one of his moms friend or something else, so with these thoughts I walked like a boss to the back and sat there like a boss, few minutes later Damola turned to me smiled and introduced me to the babe as his best friend who was more like a sister to him and introduced her to me as his fiancée, trust me 50 waves of shock hit me in succession, I had an instant brain riot but somehow in the midst of all these I managed a polite smile and a “nice to meet you” to the babe. Minutes later I told Demola I was going to be dropping off at the bus stop close to my mom’s as I had earlier planned to spend the weekend with my  mom and see him the next day, then his babe turned to me and said “Demola said you always spend the weekend with him, you can’t change that because of my presence” honestly I felt like slapping her in that moment but I politely smiled at her and said “no its not you I just haven’t seen my mum in a long time and she’s been calling to see me so I thought I could surprise her this weekend” as I finished my statement we got to the bus stop I came down immediately managed a quick polite goodbye and left. When they drove off I practically ran the rest of the way home, thankfully there was no one in when I got home so I ran to my bed room and threw myself on my bed and before I knew it I had tears on my cheeks and screamed “dear BOAZ where are you?

*in my diary*

Dear Boaz how long would it take you to come out of whatever hole you’re hiding? Where you created to frustrate my prayer life? You know I’ve prayed for you ever since I knew how to talk? How many more people would I slave for abi how many more times would I be friend zoned or sister zoned before you come out. To be honest I’m getting tired.

Hey people I hope you had a good week and I hope you enjoyed my story, I’d be writing on “DEAR BOAZ” for the next few Fridays hopefully God will use these to teach single people new things. Have a great God filled weekend.

Ps: it’s not a real story just a figment of my imagination. And to those still moving with the flow it’s about time you define whatever it is you’re doing and know where you actually stand

…..xoxo honeydrops………………………………………………………………………

PURITY Gracie couldn't wait to turn 18 eventhough there was nothing exceptional about being 18 in Nigeria except she was eligible to drive and vote according to African customs she was still under her parents, that was totally not how she planned her own life. First thing she intended to do when she turned 18 was to stop attending the church her parents attended all her life she'd never really understood why here family church didn't let them wear jewerly, perm their hair and even placed restrictions on what cloth not to wear, she never really understood the concept but kept to it any way because at least she still lived under her parent, she never really understood the whole Jesus concept but on the outside she was religiously dresses for heaven while on the inside she was a rebel waiting for a chance to be free, truth be told she was only in school because everyone else was in school what she really wanted to be was a stripper she had even began practising pole dancing and even reading pornographic articles and even watching them, if you had a conversation with her you'd not need a soothsayer to tell you the whole dressing thing was simply a show off it wasn't really who she was worse is she doesn't hid to do any of what she does, she obeys the church's instructions so her family has no need to worry but inside was the real gracie the stripper, the proud porn addict waiting to break free. Sometime ago i did an article on purity which segun a friend of mine posted on his blog as a guest post. However i just had to do another article on purity. I actually don't like to beat an issue severally but this is one of those issues i have to make an exception with. Honestly for years now a lot of us have focused on the wrong side regarding purity- the rules, i guess its high time we break free from these only skirt, 6 inches below the knees skirt, no make up, no jewerly no dating, group courtship,e.t.c and begin to focus on what really matters-the heart. Even the bible says out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh, i personally like to interprete it as from the heart proceedes all our actions, meaning all we do shows the condition of our heart. So if our heart are pure we would naturally live a life of purity.

HAVE YOU REALLY MET HIM? "I don't think I ever really met Jesus until I stepped out of my church persona, and became just another desperate, broken man. That's when he really became real to me." - Nate Larkin As i type this post i feel my mind sliping to a place in time when i played church without even knowing who God was. Yes i made the altar call almost six years ago and i got baptised three years ago i still didn't get to know i just played the preacher's kid, and even when i had counselling i only complained about the preachers kid kind of problem, like i had issues with fasting, peer influence and a host of others, but honestly those were not my actual struggle, but mehn i played church very well, i became a pro in playing God games, if you met me you'll never think i had any issues or anything, you'll just see church in me. However when i decided to go to God in all my brokeness and worthlessness he fixed me totally. Its actually less than six months ago i really found and its been beautiful a whole lot more beautiful than all the six years i played church. And trulry i've realised nothing can satisfy our longing for christ except christ himself, not church, not good character nothing else but christ himself. A lot of other people are still playing church games. How about you just embrace your brokeness and let the almighty fix it all? A lot of us in the pews need to go to God in all brokeness because that is the point we can actually get 2 know him.

THE ESSENCE OF GRACE Its very common for a christian to tell a chronic sinner about grace and how much God loves them neither is it quite uncommon to hear christians pray and say "lord we thank you for your grace and mercies" its not uncommon to hear them quote "the steadfast love of the lord never ceases, his mercies never come to an end" how ever when they fall into sin when they offend God they totall ignore the concept of Grace and are quick to quote "shall we continue in sin that grace may abound?" really it leaves me wondering we act like grace is for only those who have never heard about christ before? No grace it for every one of us God know there'll be times we'll be weak, there'll be times our flesh will pull us strongly and we'll yield because its usually the easy thing to do yes that's the point of grace yes the moment you fall is when his grace his most available for you if you'll just yield yourself to the pull of grace and let the master heal your brokenness. Until we all yield to him in our brokeness i'll keep wondering; Why are we so afraid of our brokenness? It's not like ignoring it will make it go away. It isn't some make-believe monster under our bed that we can outgrow in time. It is a very real cancer, an affliction, that plagues every human heart. We are broken people. That's the whole point of grace! How can we openly praise God for something we blatantly deny we need?

HALF EMPTY OR HALF FULL? A half empty drum of water is also a half full drum of water. But what you see it as depends on you. Do you see it as half full and are thankful its not empty or do you see it as half empty and be going around trying to fill it up? Imqgine your laptop's battery was about 50%, and you want to use it, and there is no light so you keep complaining about how you needed to charge your system and stuff in the end you don't use the system and have to put off what you wanted to do. You know you could have used it even at that and save your work or whatever it is you wanted 2 do and finished later or if you are fast in typing you could've even finished typing and saving it on a flash and printing it later. Like the illustration above a lot of us go through life seeing our lives as half empty instead of half full, we keep seeing all of the things we've not yet achieved never seeing what God has helped us achieve, never seeing all God has done for us only seeing those we've asked of him that have not yet come to pass, the way you see your life determines how thankful you can be and thanking God for his finger would provoke his hand, this is why we see some people with so little being very joyful and people with so much that we expect to be happy, go through life unhappy and hustling. Its all about how you see your life. Do you see your life as half empty of half full? Check yourself and how u've being seeing your life and make a choice to see it diffferently and positivley today.

WORSHIP FROM THE PAST

Do you have a past?

My answer is yes. I have a past an unpleasant one at that (maybe one day God would ask me 2 write about that). We all are different and we have totally different pasts, some people came to Christ really young and never get into trouble beyond stealing ten naira from mom's purse. But no that's not you, that's not your own story you were possibly a drug addict, prostitute, engaged in sexting, addicted to porn, an armed robber, you've had numerous abortions, name it you've done it all but somehow u found Christ and you're wondering what you're to do with your horrible past.

What do you do?

You worship him from it all, and you share his grace that saved you.

In the Old Testament there are different altars of remembrance set up as a testimony to what God had done 4 d nation of Israel, the altar was made as a monument to his grace, goodness and faithfulness.

Has he been good to you? Has he been merciful? Has he shown you grace?

 Think of all your past sins as big stones and use those stones to build an altar of worship to God. Don't ignore your past worship him from it. As you walk forward in life, you can always refer to that place, not as a time to regret or feel guilty and ashamed again, but as a time of celebration and worship. You can look back at that altar and how far you've come and say, "This far o God, you've led me".

GUILT VS SHAME

Guilt vs. Shame

I've never really compared these two words. I used to think they meant the same thing until yesterday i read about the two and i realized that although they kind of share features they are totally on opposite sides. What is guilt? What is shame? I'll take illustration from the bible Guilt is what peter felt when he betrayed Jesus and shame is what Judas Iscariot felt when he betrayed Jesus. Guilt is actually your friend, it keeps us in line with God, guilt is an awareness of wrongdoing, and guilt could birth two things it could bring forth shame or remorse (to feel sorry and apologize). Peter felt guilty for denying Jesus he became remorseful and pleaded for forgiveness which he found and even after Jesus was crucified he lived on doing the work of Jesus. While Judas felt guilty for betraying Jesus but instead of remorse he was overtaken by shame, the reason why he committed suicide. Guilt is the work of the conscience and the conscience is of God, though I can't categorically say guilt is of God I can say guilt keeps us in check with God. Shame is of the devil it’s a very oppressive feeling. Guilt is that small voice from your conscience that says "you shouldn't have said that" or "that was sinful you know" or "you didn't need to lie" or "you shouldn't wear or have worn that dress" or "go back to God" while shame is that high pitched voice that screams at you "you big sinner you can never be good enough" or "this is the height of it God can't forgive you this time"  it is the voice that gives you an account of how many times you've sinned and how God's mercy cannot abound for you at a certain point it’s the voice that tells you how you've fallen too far for grace. The sad thing however is a lot of us (myself inclusive) listen to the voice of shame more often than we would like to admit God has said he'll blot out your transgressions and our sins he'll no longer remember but even after we've confessed our sins and found forgiveness we still choose to live in shame of our past mistakes, if God as said then you can be sure he means it God is no man that he should lie. Personally up until yesterday i still used to go down the valley of shame and i'll call it guilt but now I realized that walking down that valley amounts to taking a stroll with the devil which makes one fall into sin again. So beginning from today i know my sins have been bloated out at Calvary I need not hold on to them again but walk in the victory of Calvary and no longer listen to the voice of shame but the voice of God and if i go wrong Guilt would come and when i restitute its over any voice after that is of shame and I would not listen to that voice no more.