Yesterday afternoon a friend walked in on me taking my routine drugs and using my inhaler and for some reason she goes “why do you care for yourself so? Now innocent me who couldn’t understand what was being said to me responded “I don’t get you” she’s like “every other asthmatic person or persons with health conditions I know don’t care for themselves or take their pills like you do” without giving it any thought I responded “I have a dream” lol trust me I’m no martin Luther king but baby I do have a dream. Funny thing is I’ve never thought of it but my dream has always being an anchor when the storms of life is strongly against me and pain seems to come in torrents coming against me and it feels like I’m drowning. My dream has always been that anchor I hold on to with a death grip, when pain overwhelms me and the struggle gets real, I want to live out my dreams so I’ll take care of my body because I need my life to fulfill purpose, until the day God heals me I’ll take all the drugs I’m given not because I like them but because I have a dream and I need strength to live my dream.
I want to write, not just blog and tell little stories, I want to write, write books that people who go through similar things can find comfort and know they are not alone in whatever it is they are going through, I want to write so everyone knows the about the God who loves me and they too and gave himself for us, I want to write about my love for God, and to write you need to be breathing so each time I feel the pain overwhelmingly my dream comes to mind and it makes me fight for my life. Severally I’ve had attacks and just lay down not trying to help myself out of the crises, tired of the seemingly endless pricks of needles, sometimes my sinuses get infected and the pain seems like I'd die, several times I'd lie on my sick bed and ask God to take me home to be with him and free from the pain However every time this happens I get a firm grip on my dream, my books unwritten and unpublished, stories within yet unshared. This dream gets the power over the pain and yes it gives me strength to fight, I fight for my dream and in the process of fighting for my dream I fight for my life.
Here’s the thing I’ve learnt; we all should dare to dream regardless. sometimes your dream might be the anchor, the driving force, the wind breath you wings when things get overwhelming and there is seemingly nothing you can do. You dreams hope and aspirations and most of all your purpose could be you anchor. We all need something stronger than the pain to conquer the pain, your dream, your purpose is that something!!
Xoxo
Mish!
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