The first day I took the tablet I
slept like a baby and for the first time I had no nightmares she supplied me
for a while, however the first night without the pills I could not get me any
sleep plus I started to feel like I was going into a panic, so I opened up to
my new friend, she later told me that I’d need more to get sleep, I asked if
she had anymore to give me, she replied in the affirmative however she help me
understand that I’d need to buy for myself as i couldn’t continue to feed on
hers, it was a shocker to me, I barely had enough money to take care of myself,
she offered to introduce me to some guys who would help, at first I wondered
what I would do for the guys to gain their help, my answer wasn’t farfetched,
we met with the guys that night and they agreed to help me on the condition
that I would have sex with each of them on different agreed days the idea was
horrid but I thought again, I needed the pills, so I agreed to the horrid idea
and started to sleep with different boys, let me point out the fact that I was
only 16 at this time, I made enough money to get a steady supply of the pills
until I graduated from secondary, after secondary school I decided move from my
town, get a job, quit sleeping around and drop the pills, but the seed had
already been sown I was addicted to drugs and sex I couldn’t stop myself I had
no control over it, I couldn’t stop, I didn’t even get to work for long
anywhere I was employed I was either high or caught sleeping around, I was a
bitter useless person, I hated papa the more every time I was rejected society
judged me from sleeping around, for taking drugs nobody cared enough. One night
I was with one of the men I slept with as usual when my phone rang but I was
“too busy” to pick it, the next day mama called and told me papa was dead he
battled lung cancer shortly after I left the town, she pleaded with me to
attend papas funeral, the look on papas face during his funeral broke my heart
and for the first time I realized I was going to possibly end up like papa if I
didn’t change, I decided to seek help. i got help, I talked with a Christian
counselor, it was difficult at first, even after counseling I still had a lot
of judgment to face, people still looked down on me. I later decided to further
my education; I’m presently in my second year in the university.
NOTE: this story is not an attempt to
exonerate those who battle with addiction, neither is it to over emphasize
their struggle, its rather a plea to those who sit around passing judgments on
those who struggle with addiction, we do not know and can’t understand where
they have been through in life, we can’t understand the seeds that had been sown
into their lives we only see where they are now, we do not see their hurts,
show love to everyone who you meet who struggles with any form of addiction, if
you can’t love them leave them never look down on them.
Finally to those who have children or who take care of kids be careful
what you do to and with them, they are very fragile but fertile soil,
everything you do to them is a seed, and whatever seed is sown would germinate,
the devil is ready to put manure to aid the growth of every wrong seed sown.
Sow the right seed today.
Xoxo Busayo
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